Bargaining With Fate
by Phoenix Of Hope
Summary: Lily and her tumtulous relationship with James- and how they make a bargain, a bargain with fate.


"Bargaining With Fate" By Ricca  
  
Chapter 1: a prologue It was hot. And sticky. And Lily Evans wanted out. Looking around the corner shop where she worked, Lily wished desperately for air conditioning. Or a fan. Anything cold really.  
  
"I need a drink." Lily thought, coming out from behind the counter. It was a tiny, local shop, and Lily knew pretty much everyone that came in. She was the only person there today, her manager having gone on vacation.  
  
Lily looked at the clock. "Any minute now." She smiled to herself. She opened the refrigerator and took out an iced tea. Opening the bottle, she let the door slam. She leaned against the cool glass, putting her cold drink to her forehead. Several times Lily had though about cutting her waist length auburn hair, but every time she picked up the phone to make an appointment, she slammed down the receiver with no explanation. Even if she asked her sister to call, there were still no appointments to be had. Lily sighed deeply and went back to her post at the cash register. Bells jingled, announcing that someone had entered the store.  
  
"Rowan, is that you?" Lily called, the door being just out of her sight. She got no reply. Lily looked at her watch and thought that her relief should be here any moment. She hoped Rowan wouldn't be late, Lily really wanted a shower to cool off.  
  
"Hey Evans." A deep voice in front of her startled Lily. Lily sighed with exasperation.  
  
"Hello James." Lily forced herself to smile, looking up at James Potter, the boy that has had a crush on her for what seemed like ages. 'It wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't a prat.' Lily thought, pushing a piece of damp hair out of her face.  
  
"So, you've been busy today?" James leaned against the counter, trying to look cool.  
  
"No, not really." Lily wished he would go away, he was a very arrogant person, and was supremely annoying. James ran a hand through his hair, smoothly messing it up, making it a seemingly unconscious move.  
  
"Yeah? Say Lily, would you want to go to Diagon Alley with me today? I heard Florean got a new flavor of ice cream in." James smiled at her, hoping she'd say yes. He'd liked this girl for years, been trying to impress her for years, but she still played hard to get. That's what he liked so much about her. James Potter wasn't the tallest guy around, only coming in at about 5'9", he had shorter black hair that was pretty messy (and he made sure it stayed messy), and not to mention impressive blue eyes that let you read him like a book. James wore his emotions on his face; it was always easy to tell what kind of mood he was in.  
  
Lily didn't really mind James' looks, it was mostly his attitude that got her. James seemed to think he was [insert religious figure]'s gift to her, and no one else. Sure he had dates, but James would never commit. He had his heart set on Lily since he first met her, almost 7 long years ago. Things seemed to go nicely at first, but then James made the quidditch team, and so things began to change. James got cockier and had more house pride than what should be legal. Lily on the other hand, defiantly defended any house that James bashed, making her everyone's friend. except James'.  
  
"I'm really sorry but I can't. I have chores to do today. Maybe some other time." Lily gave her same old excuse for no going out with James: 'Some other time'. Which, at least, was nicer than the "I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid", that she retorted to him right after OWLS the previous month. She had been angry then, but she usually turned down his offers nicer.  
  
"Ok, tomorrow then?" James persisted.  
  
Luckily for Lily, her friend and neighbor, Rowan Heginson, came in to take over counter duty, saving Lily from answering.  
  
"Rowan! Where have you been! You should have been here almost 10 minutes ago!" Lily cried as she began gathering her things.  
  
"Sorry, I met someone and we got talking." Rowan trailed off as she noticed James. Like almost every other girl that sees James for the first time, a small smile formed on her lips. When he saw Rowan, James rumpled his hair again, using the smooth technique he perfected that summer.  
  
"Yeah, well, I need to get home. Don't be late next time. I've already started your shift, and filled the form out." Lily referred to the technicalities of their job.  
  
"Thanks bunches." Rowan smiled. The door jingled again and a new face appeared.  
  
"So is this where you work, Lils?" Another familiar voice met Lily's ears.  
  
"Is this 'Everyone-Come-Bug-Lily-As-She-Leaves-Work' day or what? Where's the other two?" Lily rolled her eyes as Sirius Black, best friend to James, walked in.  
  
"Remus is on holiday in France, and Peter, well, he wasn't around when we stopped by." Sirius laughed. He had friendly gray eyes and a smile to kill. His hair was black and he kept it rather long. Sirius was startlingly handsome, and he knew it.  
  
"Well, I'm going home, and you two BETTER NOT follow me." Lily poked Sirius in the chest as she walked by him, on her way out.  
  
"Hey, watch it Lils. We might just follow you home." Sirius laughed and held the door for her. He turned to Rowan.  
  
"So you work here too? Know Lily very well?" Sirius grinned and turned his attention to Lily's replacement.  
  
"Yeah, she's my neighbor. Known Lily since we were two." Rowan dropped her stuff behind the counter and sat on the stool behind the register. "How do you know her?"  
  
"We, uh, go to her boarding school." James threw a glance over to Sirius.  
  
"Oh, yeah. Hey!" Realization dawned on her. "You're James Potter and Sirius Black!" Rowan giggled.  
  
"Yeah, we are. Does Lily talk about us?" James asked hopefully.  
  
"More like complain. In her letters she complains ALL the time. You two are so rotten to her at school." Rowan laughed again.  
  
"I wouldn't say we are THAT mean, but we do have a bit of fun with her." James shrugged, unable to keep a large grin off his face.  
  
"Yeah. I get owls from her all the time." Rowan mentioned; James' and Sirius' jaws fell to the floor.  
  
"Its not like that- I go to the Sandyscone Institute." Rowan clarified, referring to another, though less prestigious, wizard boarding school in England. She had long brown hair, the same color of a robin's wing, that came to her mid-back. Her eyes were hazel brown, unlike Lily, who had astonishingly green eyes.  
  
"Oh. You had us there for a minute." Sirius laughed. "Hey, you wouldn't want to go to Diagon Alley today? Florean has a new flavor. Ice Mice Sundae" Sirius offered.  
  
"Sure, I get off at three- the shifts are crazy today. Lily worked 8-1, I'm working until 3, then we have another girl coming in for 3-6. Its messed up." She giggled.  
  
"Would you mind getting Lily out of that house of hers? She never goes anywhere over the summer- no one ever seems to see her." James asked, trying to sound offhand.  
  
"Look, I'll try but I can't guarantee anything. Lily says she has a problem with your attitude." Rowan was frank with him. Lily had told her that she was sick of James pestering her to go out with him.  
  
"What's wrong with my attitude?" James scoffed.  
  
"You're a prat, that's what. I think that stealing the snitch last year was a bit much, not to mention what she called you right after out Defense Against the Dark Arts OWL. That and I think she likes Snivellus." Sirius told him, trying to keep a smirk in.  
  
"SHE DOES NOT LIKE SNAPE." James maintained. "Does she?" He asked Rowan worriedly.  
  
"No, she doesn't. But she says you have an inflated ego. Quidditch, grades or hair. That and all the pranks." Rowan shrugged.  
  
"Oh. Well, I guess I do like quidditch a bit, and prank a little." James admitted sheepishly.  
  
"A little? A bit? James, that's all you talk about! That, and Lily." Sirius laughed.  
  
"So is it true? You've liked her since first year?" Rowan asked knowingly.  
  
"Well, maybe not first year." James started to go red.  
  
"You're right, he's liked her since he first saw her in Diagon Alley- a month before 1st term started. He kept asking people if they knew who she was." Sirius threw his head back and laughed with Rowan.  
  
"Hey, I don't need this." James growled.  
  
"Take it easy, we were just kidding. I'll talk to Lily, ok?" Rowan pacified him.  
  
"Ok. Well, I better get going, Sirius, you coming?" James questioned.  
  
"I think I'll stay for a bit- then I have to go pack. You sure your parents are ok with this?" Sirius looked at Rowan then at James.  
  
"Yeah, they don't mind at all, we have plenty of rooms." James shrugged and walked out the door, bells jingling behind him.  
  
"What's going on?" Rowan asked curiously.  
  
"I'm, well, going to stay at James' place for the rest of this summer, and the next. Then after we graduate, I'm gonna get my own flat." Sirius admitted.  
  
"You're running away from home?" Rowan was surprised.  
  
"I can't stay there anymore. I just don't belong." Sirius smiled sadly. "Well, I have to go- time to pack up and leave that hell hole. I'll pick you up here at three?" the sad, forlorn look in Sirius' eyes vanished, into a look of anticipation for the afternoon.  
  
"Sure, I'll call Lily and see if she'll come with us- James is coming, right?" Rowan clarified.  
  
"Yeah. Thanks about James. He's, well, obsessed with Lily, and she's right, his ego is a bit inflated." Sirius laughed.  
  
"See you at 3." Rowan smiled as Sirius strode out the door.  
  
~*~  
  
Lily sighed as she shut the door to her house. It wasn't huge, just another row home with a small but neat front garden and a small but neat backyard. She just leaned against the door for a moment, letting the wonderfully cool air conditioning wash over her. It was a record breaking summer that year: hotter than anyone could remember, and with little to no rain.  
  
Lily hadn't been standing there a minute when the phone rang. Grumbling, Lily went to answer it, knowing she was the only one home. Her father was at work, and her sister at her babysitting job.  
  
"Hello, Evans residence." Lily answered the phone formally, just like her mother taught her many years ago. Her throat tightened when Lily thought of her mother. She had been just 12 when her mother died in car accident, but every now and then Lily would get a sharp reminder of her mother.  
  
"Lily? Its Rowan." The receiver spit out Rowan's voice.  
  
"Hey- did I leave something? Or did you forget something and want me to bring it?" Lily laughed. Rowan was a bit scatterbrained, so it was frequent that she called Lily asking her to bring to the store something she forgot.  
  
"Nah. Just wanted to know if you're coming this afternoon." Rowan tried an offhand tactic.  
  
"Lemme guess. Potter asked you to get me to go to Diagon Alley with you Sirius and him." Lily replied.  
  
"Yeah, how'd you know?"  
  
"Its so Potter." Lily rolled her eyes.  
  
"So, you coming?" Rowan tried again.  
  
"No. I don't want to spend the afternoon with James Potter."  
  
"Come on Lily, it will be fun. Besides, Florean has a new flavor. Free ice cream, Lil. FREE." Rowan emphasized the free.  
  
"What are you talking about? Florean never gives out free ice cream."  
  
"Hello? Are you even thinking today? James will so pay for you!" Rowan laughed.  
  
"Just what I need. If I accept ice cream from him, he'll think I've gone soft and that I'll date him. Did I mention that I DON'T want to spend the afternoon with James Potter? Or Sirius Black for that matter?" Lily knew fully well that she had said she didn't want to hang out with James.  
  
"Well, it can't be that bad. Please? Pretty please? With Floreans' new flavor on top with ice mice?" Rowan pleaded. Ice mice were hers and Lily's favorite wizard candy.  
  
"Honey, as much as you and I like ice mice, I REALLY DON'T WANT TO HANG OUT WITH JAMES POTTER." Lily maintained.  
  
"If you come with me today, I'll weed your flower beds for two weeks!" Rowan offered, knowing that Lily HATED to weed the flowers, but did it since her sister wouldn't and her dad wanted her to.  
  
"You got yourself a deal. BUT if Potter asks me out ONCE, I'm an outie." Lily warned.  
  
"No problem! Thanks so much Lily! Though you have to promise to be nice."  
  
"Fine."  
  
"Yay! Thanks Lily! I really wanted to- ugh, got to go, customer." Rowan quickly replied then hung up. Lily looked at the phone in her hand, wondering what the hell she had gotten herself into. She looked at the clock. 2:00pm.  
  
"Well, if I'm gonna go, I'm not gonna smell nasty." Lily dropped her stuff in her room and went to shower. Lily took her time, knowing that Rowan would probably let Sirius and James into her house while waiting for her. Lily just prayed they wouldn't break anything. As Lily turned off the water, she heard a door slam and three familiar voices: they had arrived.  
  
"I'll be right down, don't you come upstairs unless you want me to kill you!" Lily threatened, opening the door a crack while she shouted. The last thing she wanted was either of those two boys seeing her in only a towel. Lily was a pretty girl, and she knew that guys thought so. She didn't get what all the fuss was about; she thought she was pretty average looking. But that was Lily, downplaying everything like always. Except when it came to defending the poor victims that James and Sirius went through so often. She felt really bad for Severus Snape, though she thought it was incredibly rude of him to call her a mudblood for defending him.  
  
I'Stupid git.'/I Lily shook her head. After toweling dry her hair, Lily wrapped her towel around herself and proceeded to her room. Sirius whistled at her from the stairs.  
  
"Lookin' REAL good, Evans. Prongs, you gotta come see this." Sirius smirked with one foot on the stairs, looking up at Lily. Sirius had to admit, the petite red head was gorgeous in a towel. Creamy white skin and almond shaped green eyes, red curls, he definitely liked what he saw.  
  
"Shut it!" Lily growled and opened the door to her room. She promptly screamed.  
  
"JAMES POTTER WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?!" Lily shrieked, making sure her towel was sufficiently covering her.  
  
"Just wondered what it looked like." James shrugged, grinning like a fool.  
  
"GET OUT NOW! I SAID NOW!" Lily went over and forcibly pulled him from the room and shoved James down the stairs. James caught his balance and grinned on the top stair.  
  
"You know, you're incredibly sexy in a towel. And when you're angry too." James flashed a million dollar grin at Lily, moving a red curl from in front of her face. Lily was seething.  
  
"And you're incredibly stupid! And arrogant and -" Lily let out a noise of sheer frustration and stomped over to her door, trying to make sure her towel stayed in place. She slammed the door behind her.  
  
When Lily locked her door, she proceeded to get dressed in the most cautious of ways, just in case James hid something, like a camera, in her room. She felt like she was in grade school again, getting changed in the locker room for gym, when everybody was so self-conscious. After putting on her bathing suit, a green and black two piece, she slipped on a pair of jeans. It was simply too hot for her to wear anything more, and she figured she'd make James pay for what he did. Sneaking into her room like that! 'Yes,' Lily thought nastily, 'I'll find some way to make him sorry.' Flirting with some other guy right in front of him sounded nice, but Lily wasn't sure. There was a soft knock at her door.  
  
"Lily?" James' voice was calling her.  
  
"What?" Lily snapped, not bothering to unlock her door.  
  
"I'm sorry for going into your room. I was curious. Sorry." James pleaded. Though it wasn't like him to beg, he was ready to do anything to get Lily to spend the afternoon with him.  
  
"Ehh, well you should be." Lily answered, scrunching her hair in front of her mirror.  
  
"I am. Will you still come with us to Diagon Alley?" James asked.  
  
"Only if I get plenty of FREE ice cream." Lily decided. 'I'll find some way to make him sorrier. And the only way to do that is to be with him.' Lily thought evilly to herself.  
  
"Done." James called, sounding like he was going down the stairs.  
  
"So? What's going on, oh Sorry-One?" Sirius smirked from the chair he was lounging in.  
  
"She's still coming as long as she gets free ice cream. Like I would have let her pay anyway." James flopped on Lily's couch, relieved. Rowan was in the kitchen getting glasses of water for everyone. She came back and handed them out.  
  
"Well," Sirius sipped his water, "was her room really worth seeing?"  
  
"Yeah. Looked around a bit. She's got nice stuff. Nice Istuff/I." James grinned, trying to imply his message to Sirius.  
  
"I can't believe you did that." Sirius shook his head, laughing. "You better hope that Lily doesn't find out you went through her underwear."  
  
"YOU DID WHAT?!" Rowan cried.  
  
"Shh, keep it down. Yeah, so what. She's got nice underthings." James chuckled to himself.  
  
"You're right, Lily better not hear about it." Rowan agreed, a disgusted look on her face. She muttered something close to I"Boys."/I.  
  
"Hear about what?" Lily asked, coming down the stairs. James' look of fond remembrance turned into one of pure delight.  
  
"A prank I was thinking of pulling on Snivellus." James smoothly covered over Rowan's comment.  
  
"Oh god, I don't want to know." Lily rolled her eyes. Sirius looked Lily up and down as she and Rowan headed out the door. "She looks good." Sirius whispered to James approvingly.  
  
"Well, we have to go to Rowan's so she can change and to use her fire. So come on!" Lily called, shooing the boys out of her house. Lily shut and locked her front door, with a key on a green ribbon hanging around her neck. Then she followed the others next door into another identical row home. Only the inside was decorated differently, with wizard things mostly. While Rowan went and changed into her suit and some jeans, Lily kept both boys downstairs.  
  
"So Evans, how's your summer been so far?" James asked, sitting next to her on the couch. Sirius had taken the only chair in the living room.  
  
"Been working." Lily sighed. She wished James would move over, he was sitting WAY too close for comfort right now. "You?"  
  
"You know, same old. Quidditch practice, learning hexes, that kind of stuff." James replied.  
  
"When are you going to GROW UP? Or are you just going to hex everyone just because you can for the rest of your life?" Lily looked at James disgustedly.  
  
"I never said I would use these hexes. They're for a special case." James told her.  
  
"Yeah Evans, we would never use them on you. Just Snivellus." Sirius added.  
  
"That poor kid! Can't you two just leave him alone, for once?! Geeze. No wonder he curses you whenever he can." Lily shook her head.  
  
"Hey, he curses me, I hex him. Besides, that git called you a- Well, you know what he called you. That can never be forgiven." James said loftily.  
  
"I'm sad to say I'm probably related to him." Sirius spat nastily.  
  
"What?" Lily sounded confused.  
  
"Most pure bloods are related, if distantly. I seem to be the only one of my family, extended included, to go to Gryffindor House. The rest are in Slytherin. Bellatrix and Narcissa are my cousins. And you know who they're dating. Snape, I believe, is my 2nd or 3rd cousin. Its revolting really." Sirius did, indeed, look revolted. Lily, on the other hand, was simply trying to absorb the information that was just fed to her.  
  
"I'm sorry you have to be related to them, mate. That just takes the cake. Which is why you're moving in with me." James nodded once.  
  
"You're moving in with Potter?" Lily asked, wide-eyed, looking from one to the other.  
  
"Yeah, it will be a riot." Sirius laughed.  
  
"Potter, I pitied your parents before, now I just feel sorry for them." Lily looked at James.  
  
"Why?" James was confused.  
  
"They have to deal with the two of you all the time now! Its like planning on having one kid, then you get twins!" Lily giggled, with Sirius and James joining in.  
  
"Hey, what's so funny?" Rowan came down stairs in her the top to her blue hawaiian print bikini completed with a pair of jeans.  
  
"Nothing- just feeling sorry for Potter's parents. They're moving in." Lily motioned to James and Sirius.  
  
"Yeah, I do feel sorry for them, and I barely even know James and Sirius!" Rowan giggled. "Ok, lets go!" Rowan pulled a container of floo powder from its spot on the mantle piece and everyone took a pinch. Rowan went first and threw the glittering green powder into the no-heat fire and shouted "Diagon Alley!" then stepped into the roaring green flames. Next Sirius went. Lily was about to throw her powder in when James caught her hand.  
  
"Look, Lily, I'm sorry if I've acted like a prat to you lately. Please let me make it up to you." James said softly, taking Lily's other hand. Lily was so surprised by his words that she didn't notice his actions. He pulled her closer and kissed her lightly on the lips. "I'm sorry." James let go and Lily was dumbfounded. This wasn't the James Potter from a month ago, that was for sure. She threw her powder into the fire and stepped in, her only words being "Diagon Alley". She began to get sick from all the spinning when she realized she still had her eyes open. Squeezing them shut, Lily waited to slow down. When she felt like she was, Lily opened her eyes and flung her hands out, preventing her from taking a header in the Leaky Cauldron pub. Rowan and Sirius were already there, dusting themselves off. Lily didn't move quick enough because as she was standing up, James Potter fell out of the fire and knocked her down, both of them crashing into a table and chairs. Rowan and Sirius looked at them because of the crash, then laughed at the tangle that was Lily, James, and furniture.  
  
"Get off me!"  
  
"I'm trying to!"  
  
"Watch where your hands are!"  
  
"Ow!"  
  
"You deserved it!"  
  
"Hey, some help here?"  
  
"Ugh. Get off my hand."  
  
"Ok, hold your horses. And watch where your hands are!"  
  
"That's my top, not yours. Don't you touch it."  
  
"Hey, just trying to get up here."  
  
"Finally!" Both Lily and James disentangled themselves from each other and a table with chairs.  
  
"Some help you are." Lily glared at Rowan and Sirius who were still laughing hopelessly at them, along with much of the bar.  
  
"Come on, lets go." James ushered Lily out, with the still chuckling Sirius and Rowan trailing them.  
  
James opened the gate to Diagon Alley, as Lily checked her knots to make sure they were still triple knotted. The back of her top needed two more knots, and she asked Rowan to tie them as she didn't trust Sirius or James to do the job right.  
  
When Lily's top was re-knotted to perfection, James led the way to Florean Fortescue's ice cream parlor. It was packed, with the line coming out into the street.  
  
"Well, we better get in line." James sighed. Over an hour later, the four of them were able to order.  
  
"Hey Alannah, we'd like 4 ice creams, all the new Ice Mice Delight. 2 larges and-" James looked in question at Lily and Rowan.  
  
"2 mediums." Lily added.  
  
"Coming right up." Alannah Almer, their tired looking classmate said, turning away to get their orders. Alannah was a sweet girl, and just so happened to be dating Remus, part of the quartet that made up James' best friends- the Marauders. Alannah had long dark brown hair, and blue green eyes. For House pride, she had tons- her hair told all. The tips were dyed blue, and her brown hair was so dark it looked black, notifying all that she belonged in Hufflepuff house. She was 5'7" and was pretty thin- remarkable since she worked in an ice cream shop.  
  
"Here. Have a nice day." Alannah handed James their ice cream, as he passed her money. He gave her a hefty tip too, just saying 'keep the change'. This was not lost upon Lily, who raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Keep the change? You gave her a whole extra Galleon!" Lily commented as they went to find seats out of the sun.  
  
"Yeah, well, she looked like she needed it." James shrugged, then pointed to a spot in the shade of a tree. "How about we sit there?" He asked, going over.  
  
"This looks nice." Sirius commented as he sat next to Rowan.  
  
"Mmm. I love Ice Mice!" Rowan dug into her ice cream. "You too Lily, don't you?" Rowan knew fully well Lily liked them as well.  
  
"Yeah, can't resist them." Lily pulled one off her sundae. She popped it in her mouth and her teeth started chattering and squeaking.  
  
"Want mine? I seem to have gotten some extra." James offered two on his spoon to Lily. Lily looked at him for a moment, then held out her ice cream for him to dump them on. James smiled and obliged.  
  
The four of them ate in silence for awhile, savoring the minty fresh coolness and the chattering, squeaking noises induced by the ice mice sundaes. Lily finished hers quickly, done way before the others.  
  
"Wow, Evans, you sure inhaled that!" James laughed, he was only half done with his.  
  
"Well I had a smaller size." Lily shrugged and shivered despite the heat.  
  
"You cold?" James raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Nah, just the ice mice." Lily affirmed.  
  
"Oh." James went back to his ice cream. Sirius and Rowan and sat next to Lily and James, but not really next to them. Another person could have easily sat between Rowan and Lily. Sirius and Rowan were deep in a quiet conversation.  
  
"Evans and Potter, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" a gleeful, yet incredibly annoying sing-song voice called out to them. Lily looked in the direction where it came from and saw none other than Avery Nott and his current girlfriend, Bree Alerdyce. Avery Nott, a sinister character who would rather leave them all alone and do his dirty deeds without interruption, was the exact opposite of the pretty piece of flesh that was his girlfriend. Bree loved trouble, especially when she started it. She had long black hair with streaks of bright red running through it, and her hair matched her eyes, which were brown with flecks of scarlet in them. Her matching hair and eyes also matched her temper, which was fiery. She loved to use her temper, almost as much as starting trouble, and the two went hand in hand most times.  
  
"Hello, Bree. You hair looks wonderful, did you do it yourself?" Lily asked politely, standing up to greet the couple as Bree dragged her boyfriend over.  
  
"No, I went to a salon and had it done. Doesn't it look ravishing?" She smiled and looked pointedly at Avery.  
  
"Yeah, looks great." Avery replied, non-enthusiastic.  
  
"So, Lily, you never told me you were going out with Potter! When did this happen?" Bree asked in a loud voice, drawing stares, especially from the younger crowd.  
  
"You see, Bree, I'm not going out with Potter. No, I'm here with my friend Rowan. Potter and Black were just kind enough to buy us ice cream. Is that wrong?" Lily replied slowly and sweetly, not letting Bree's antics get to her.  
  
"Oh no, I was just mistaken. Usually when two people are sitting next to each other, they're going out. Especially if the boy bought the girl her ice cream." Bree smiled nastily.  
  
"My, my, Bree! It sounds as if you have nothing better do to than watch Potter. Avery, you better please this girl before she leaves you." Lily stage whispered to Avery Nott, who turned almost as red as the streaks in his girlfriend's hair.  
  
"Trust me, Lily, my boyfriend knows how to please me. I was just commenting. I couldn't help but notice you and Potter, seeing how you two make such a great couple." Bree retorted in her loud voice. Most of the customers outside were now watching what was going on, there was nothing better to do. Besides, most of the crowd outside were Hogwarts students, and had been surprised to see Lily there with James, even if there were two other people with them.  
  
"I'm glad you think so, but I assure you, Potter and I aren't dating. The way you go on about us though, Bree, makes me wonder if you're jealous." It was Lily's turn to smile nastily.  
  
"Oh, I'm not jealous, honey. I got my own man." Bree hooked her arm with Avery's.  
  
"Well, you better get going, I'm sure you and your Iman/I have some place you need to be, alone. I think, Bree, you have some issues you need to work out." Lily smirked and turned to her companions.  
  
"Are you guys ready to leave? I feel like shopping." Lily shrugged, purposely turning her back to Bree, who was practically spitting with anger.  
  
"Yeah, I'm done." James stood up with his empty ice cream container, along with Lily's. Sirius shook his head and motioned to his and Rowans' almost full ice creams.  
  
"Well lets go then. Sirius, we'll catch up later." Lily called and confidently strode off, brushing against Bree as she left. James was right behind her.  
  
"Way to go, Evans! Telling Bree off like that." James sounded impressed as they walked down the street.  
  
"Eh, it was nothing." Lily shrugged.  
  
"Though, I didn't mind what she was saying." James cracked a smile. Lily turned furious eyes on him.  
  
"Woah, tiger. Just joking." James laughed, holding up his hands defensively.  
  
"Whatever, Potter." Lily rolled her eyes and let James pull the door to Gringotts open for her. A pair of goblins showed them through the second set of doors. Lily and James went to a teller, and asked to make withdrawals. Quite soon, they were led through a side door to the immense hall and into a dark tunnel. Lily shuddered involuntarily.  
  
"What's wrong?" James asked, concerned by the look on her face.  
  
"Its just that all of a sudden I got this horrid feeling. I really can't stand tunnels." Lily shuddered again and moved closer to James.  
  
"Well, tell me about it. Have you always had this fear of the Gringotts tunnels?" James slung his arm around her. Surprisingly, to him, Lily didn't squirm away from him. If anything, she moved even closer. I'This must really bug her, if she's warming up to me.'/I James thought grimly.  
  
"No, just since.. I don't know when. Its kind of a new thing." Lily started to shiver, but not with cold.  
  
"Woah, Lils, you sure you ok?" James held her at arm's length and looked at Lily. She was deathly pale, and her eyes were having trouble focusing.  
  
"Yeah, I just want to get out of here." Lily shivered again and they reached the cart they were to take.  
  
"Is Miss ok?" The goblin that was leading them asked.  
  
"Yeah, we just need to make this trip a quick one." James held a galleon out to the goblin who took it and led them away from the cart, and to a series of doors. The goblin took out a key and unlocked one of the doors, saying James' vault number at the same time. Magically, the door opened to reveal James' vault, which was quite full. James' parents were very well off, and let their only son spend what he wanted to. Not that this made James spoiled, he just didn't think money mattered a whole lot. He though of it more as a tiny technicality that, unfortunately, had to bothered with.  
  
"Thanks. James scooped a few handfuls of galleons into his magically expanded pockets, and stepped out of his vault. The goblin closed the door, and was about the open Lily's vault.  
  
"No need, I have plenty of money for both of us." James said, interrupting the goblin.  
  
"Yes, sir." The goblin turned back and began to lead Lily and James out. Lily wasn't saying much, she was still really pale.  
  
"Thank you James." Lily whispered as they left the tunnels. James said nothing but ushered her outside, where the two of them sat on a low wall outside the bank.  
  
"So, what happened in there?" James asked Lily after they had been sitting in the sunlight for a minute.  
  
"I don't know." Lily confessed, looking at her hands. "Ever since end of last term, I can't stand anyplace really dark." She absently rubbed the scars on her wrists, which had begun to throb.  
  
"Oh." James thought back to the awful event that took place two nights before they were to leave for the summer. Lily had been out patrolling the corridors, as it was her Prefect duty, when someone attacked her and then modified her memory. Lily had lain bleeding on the stone floor until James went to sneak into the kitchens and found her lying there. Lily's wrists had been cut, and she was knocked unconscious. A note saying "One down, many to go" was pinned to Lily's robes, an ominous warning to the muggle- borns of the school. Of course, this whole matter had been covered up quite well; no one besides James, the school nurse and the headmaster knew of the attack on Lily. Even Lily didn't know the full extent- she was simply told she had fallen and cut herself with a random spell from her wand. James had a feeling that this fear of tunnels and the dark had something to do with the attack made upon her.  
  
"So, I'm feeling better, you want to go find Sirius and Rowan?" Lily stood up, but then sat right back down.  
  
"Ok, maybe I'll sit for a few more moments." Lily breathed deeply, trying to dispel the dizziness that washed over her.  
  
"I think you need to tell Professor Dumbledore about your fear of dark places." James said quietly.  
  
"What are you talking about? He'll think I'm some silly witch who doesn't know her wand from her elbow!" Lily scoffed.  
  
"No, I think this is more important than you know." James voice remained low and serious.  
  
"And who made you all-knowing, Mr. Potter?" Lily asked snidely.  
  
"Lets just say, after your 'accident' last term, it might be best."  
  
"Oh, well, if you put it that way, then, Ino/I. I mean, come on, I hit my head and fired a random spell. That's all. Nowhere does that say 'causes fear of the dark'." Lily rolled her eyes.  
  
"Evans, if you don't tell the headmaster, I will." James said evenly.  
  
"Why are you making such a big deal of this?" Lily threw her hands up in frustration.  
  
"Lily, you went all pale and were shivering, even though it wasn't anywhere near being cold! You couldn't see straight, and walking was hard enough. Do I need to continue?" James eyed Lily's slightly dumbstruck look.  
  
"It wasn't that bad." Lily said more to herself than James.  
  
"Enough of this, just promise me you'll mention it to the headmaster in you prefect acceptance letter." James decided pointedly.  
  
"Fine- wait, how do you know I'm going to be a prefect?"  
  
"Evans, you're you! Besides, you were one last year." James shrugged. "Not to mention you're in the running to be Head Girl."  
  
"I'll take that as a compliment."  
  
"It was."  
  
"Good." Lily sighed. "So, want to go find Sirius and Rowan?"  
  
"Sure, lets go." James stood up and the two of them walked back towards Florean's, where, Sirius and Rowan were I still/I eating their ice cream. The ice cream was, by now, almost completely melted in the hot afternoon sun.  
  
"I guess they're not done." James said from the street.  
  
"Well, I want to go into Flourish and Blotts. Potter are you coming?" Lily started towards the bookshop, James following her.  
  
"Already there." James smiled and held the door to the bookshop open for Lily. She immediately went to the counter and rang the bell for service. A haggard looking man in heavy black robes came out from the back room of the store.  
  
"Can I help you, Miss? Oh, hello Lily. No, I'm sorry we haven't gotten your book yet. I just got an owl about it today- they said they'll sell it for more money. The current owners say they got another, higher bid." The man recognized Lily and went rambling on.  
  
"Oh, well, tell the owners of the book that I'll beat out their highest bidder- I want this book. Here's another 5 galleons, tell them to contact me if they still have any problems." Lily reached in her pocket when James laid a hand on her arm.  
  
"Allow me." James winked and handed to the man a large handful of galleons. Lily saw that there had to be at least 15 galleons, probably more, exchanging hands  
  
"Make sure Miss Evans gets the book in time for our return to school in two weeks." James said pointedly.  
  
"Yes, yes sir. Right away." The man looked startled for a moment, then hurried to the back room of the store, presumably to owl the owners of what would soon be Lily's book.  
  
"Potter, why did you do that?" Lily asked indignantly as they stepped out into the bright sunshine of the street in Diagon Alley.  
  
"Why not? Consider it your birthday present. Since your birthday is in three days." James smirked at Lily's expression.  
  
"I would prefer no birthday presents, thank you." She said frostily, wondering how James found her birthday.  
  
"Come on, you only turn 16 once, so live it up! I've been 16 for three weeks and I think its grand! Now, why don't you tell me about this book you wanted so badly you'd outbid anyone on?" James laughed.  
  
"Well, it's this great book on charms-"  
  
"Transfiguration is better" James interrupted, grinning.  
  
"If you say so," Lily continued, glaring at James. "That was used by Nimue, a woman who Merlin supposedly taught everything he knew."  
  
"Didn't he fall in love with her, and she locked him in a crystal cave?"  
  
"That, or a tower of wind, tower of ice, and other guesses. Anyway, this book was found in the attic of a 150-year-old wizard, who supposedly has had this book in his family for generations. Well, his great grandchildren are selling the book, and I want it. It even has handwritten notes in it. Even if it wasn't used by Nimue, it is an excellent reference for old charms." Lily's disposition brightened as she talked about her book.  
  
"How much are you paying for this book?" James asked, bewildered.  
  
"148 galleons, not including what you just put in. The book is worth it. It's my birthday gift from my father. He said if my mother was around, she'd want me to have it." Lily's voice nearly cracked as she spoke of her mother. 4 years wasn't nearly enough to dull old wounds.  
  
"You never talk about your mother." James said quietly.  
  
"Because she's dead, Potter." Lily replied, almost cruelly.  
  
"I need to go home. Thanks for the ice cream and helping to pay for my book." Lily abruptly turned around and walked briskly to the Leaky Cauldron, where she flooed home. By the time she came tumbling out of her fireplace (which had been connected only as an outlet, not as a two-way), Lily had two sooty streaks running down her face where the ash stuck to her tears.  
  
"Is that you, freak?" Lily's sister, Petunia snidely called from the kitchen.  
  
"Yes, Petunia. And please, I'm not in the mood." Lily sniffed.  
  
"Oh, and what's wrong, little Iwitch/I? Bad magic?" Petunia sneered from the doorway.  
  
"No, I just miss Mother, that's all." Lily wiped her freely flowing tears from her face and trudged her way up the stairs, leaving a stunned Petunia downstairs. Lily never talked about her feelings in her home; she felt like she had to keep a happy façade for her sister and father. It was rare occasion for anyone to see Lily cry, or to hear Lily admit to missing her mother as much as she really felt inside. Lily knew that to be strong, she must hide her emotions, and not even let herself feel them. It was also one of the first rules to Occlumency, which Lily began studying this summer. Already, Lily suspected she was quite good at it, but she wouldn't be positive until she was able to have her roommate test the spell for prying into people's minds on Lily.  
  
~*~  
  
A few hours later there was a knock on the front door of the Evans' residence. Petunia opened the door.  
  
"Can I help you?" She asked in polite tones.  
  
"Yes, I'm here to see Lily. She wasn't, err, exactly happy when she went home this afternoon. I want to see her, if that's ok." James Potter was courteous back to Petunia.  
  
"Really? She up in her room, taking no visitors." Petunia glared at James, knowing that he was one of Ithem/I.  
  
"Please, would you-" James was interrupted by the arrival of Mr. Evans himself at the door.  
  
"Petunia, don't be rude, invite this young man in!" Mr. Evans said jovially, sticking out a hand to shake. James gratefully accepted the handshake and stepped into the Evans' house. The door was shut behind him.  
  
"What can I do for you, my lad?" Mr. Evans asked.  
  
"Well, I wanted to see Lily. She didn't seem happy this afternoon, and well, I want to make sure she's ok." James repeated.  
  
"Ah, yes, you go to her school?" Mr. Evans ushered James up the stairs, towards Lily's room.  
  
"Yes, I do." James nodded.  
  
"Knock before entering, and good luck- she's in one of Ithose/I moods." Mr. Evans laughed and went back to the living room, to finish reading his paper. James, on the other hand, knocked on Lily's bedroom door.  
  
"What?" a weak voice called, and the sounds of someone getting up were heard. The door opened a crack.  
  
"Oh, its you." Lily made a move to shut the door, but James stopped it with his hand.  
  
"Lily, listen to me. Its no use to sit in there moping over something that can't be changed. So your mother is gone, so is my brother. We have to learn to get over these things, lily. If we dwell on them, they will break us." Lily opened her door and stepped away, and James went in. The door was shut behind him.  
  
"Yes, my younger brother is dead. I have come to accept this. He died while I was at Hogwarts our first year. Right before I was to go home for Christmas." James said quietly.  
  
"That's horrible." Lily sat on her bed, and motioned for James to sit anywhere. He took the chair at her desk.  
  
"Yes, it certainly seemed that way."  
  
"My mother- I was in the car with her when it happened. She didn't do anything- there was this green light and then she didn't do anything. The car slammed head on into a truck, I was lucky to survive." Lily whispered, the horror from that awful day plastered on her face.  
  
"Lily-"  
  
"She didn't die in that car crash, James- she was murdered right before!" Lily turned reddened eyes to him.  
  
"You don't know that."  
  
"Yes, I do! I was there! It was the killing curse. I didn't know it at the time, but I do now. I felt the magic rush by me. Haven't you noticed the different feeling in the muggle world? Its not like when you're at Hogwarts, or at a wizarding home, is it? That's the absence of magic- a washed out, slightly unreal feeling. Can't you feel it right now? You know something is missing, but you can't put your finger on it." Lily looked James right in the eye.  
  
"You miss it, don't you- that feeling?" James asked, knowing fully well what Lily was talking about.  
  
"Yes, all summer, I am away from it. I know its gone, and I want it back. Going to Diagon Alley today was a breath of fresh air." Lily dropped her eyes, looking at her hands in her lap.  
  
"And you miss your mother, though you won't admit it." James continued.  
  
"Y-y-yes." Lily's lower lip trembled and unwanted tears sprang to her eyes.  
  
"Lily, its ok to cry. You have to let it out sometime. You can't just bottle it up." James got up and sat next to Lily, and the tears began to fall. He put an arm around her, consolingly.  
  
"I didn't even cry at her funeral, I was so angry. Angry at whoever killed her. I knew then that the crash didn't kill her. I knew she had been murdered. Even if I told someone, no one would have believed me. I was the just kid who hit her head, and had a sprained wrist from the crash. Who would believe me?" Lily cried into James' shirt.  
  
"Lily, its ok, I believe you. And someday, we'll find her killers., and make them pay. I already have an idea who."  
  
"You do?" Lily looked up into James' understanding blue eyes.  
  
"We've heard bits and pieces about him, though not much since we're in school. Voldemort, Lily, Voldemort. The muggle killer." James hugged Lily to him, and Lily returned the hug.  
  
"Him? The crazy one bent on controlling the world?" Lily's tears turned to sniffles.  
  
"Yes, the crazy one. Though he is beginning to strike fear into the hearts of most wizards. He's killing every month now- entire families, with the exception of one member, so that they can remember their family's vicious death. And be a tease to the ministry of magic- they keep hoping that the survivors can give them leads. Its always the same- the dark mark above their house, masked and hooded people in robes, both men and women. " James said disgustedly.  
  
"I'll kill him if it's the last thing I do." Lily decided pointedly, wiping the remains of tears from her watery green eyes.  
  
"What does not kill us, makes us stronger." James quoted and hugged Lily again, who threw her arms around him and returned the hug.  
  
"Thank you James. Thanks for coming to see me." Lily smiled somewhat, she had really needed someone to talk to, even if it was James Potter. But then again, James had changed. He seemed somewhat caring.  
  
"No problem. I'll be seeing you around, maybe?" James asked hopefully.  
  
"Yeah, I think so." Lily waved as James exited her room with a very self- satisfied grin on his face.  
  
"So, did you kids have fun?" Mr. Evans laughed as James came downstairs.  
  
"Not that way, Mr. Evans. I'm just glad she's feeling better. It was nice meeting you." James went to open the front door to let himself out.  
  
"You will be coming for dinner sometime, I suppose? I'm sure Lily will enjoy it." Mr. Evans called, as James was about to walk out.  
  
"You can count on it" James called and shut the door behind him. If possible, James' grin got larger. He practically skipped over to Rowan's house, where she and Sirius were playing cards.  
  
"No scars? No broken bones? Lily's gotten soft. She may even date you." Sirius looked up from his hand as James walked into Rowan's bedroom, where Rowan and Sirius were playing go fish, the only muggle card game, aside from poker, that Sirius knew how to play.  
  
"Nah, she couldn't go that far over the edge. How'd she put it? Oh yes, it was: 'Rowan, Hell will freeze over before I date James Potter, and it will snow in the Sahara Dessert before I entertain the thought.'" Rowan giggled, looking at James' grin drop slightly.  
  
"Did she really say that?" James pondered aloud.  
  
"Of course I did!" Lily's voice came through the open window.  
  
"Lily, how many time do I have to tell you, you can come over, you don't have to shout through your window!" Rowan yelled back, turning towards her open window. Lily's window was less than two feet away.  
  
"That takes the fun out of it!" Lily giggled, sticking halfway out of her window.  
  
"You heard what we said?" James asked Sirius and Rowan incredulously.  
  
"No, I just opened my window, Potter. We weren't yelling loud enough to catch their attention." Lily called.  
  
"You seem to be in a better mood." Sirius remarked, turning his chair around to face the window.  
  
"Nothing is as sweet as the thought of revenge. By the way, Potter, I'm not done with you yet- you snuck into my room and you still have to pay for that." Lily grinned evilly.  
  
"But- but- but-" James was at a loss for words.  
  
"You can't win all the time. Did you really think I'd let you off that easy? For all I know you went through my things!" Lily laughed.  
  
"Well-" Sirius began, but James smacked him on the back.  
  
"You know, we really ought to get going, Sirius. I'm sure you need to unpack and such. My parents are expecting us back." James cut Sirius off, glaring at him.  
  
"What? No they-"  
  
"Yes, don't you remember that we told my parents that we'd be back at my house by now?" James asked with clenched teeth.  
  
"Oh, yeah, I think I remember. Well, Rowan, Lily, it was nice chatting and hanging with you today. Send me an owl. I'm at James' house." Sirius winked at Rowan as he stood up. James continued glaring at Sirius as the two boys walked downstairs to use the fireplace.  
  
"That was odd." Lily rolled her eyes.  
  
~*~  
  
It was several nights later, that Lily threw open her window again.  
  
"Rowan! Wanna go to a movie?" Lily called through her window.  
  
"Sure, we'd love to!" Sirius voice answered.  
  
"Oh, sorry Rowe, didn't know you had company." Lily made a move to close her window, but a person from Rowan's side prevented her.  
  
"James, you're there too?" Lily pointed out the obvious, as she was face to face with James Potter.  
  
"Of course I am, do Sirius or I ever go someplace without each other?" James smirked.  
  
"Yeah, when Sirius is going to visit a girl." Lily shrugged.  
  
"We're just friends!" Both Sirius and Rowan shouted at the same time.  
  
"Sure, whatever." James and Lily called back.  
  
"Ok, that was creepy." Lily giggled nervously.  
  
"Why? Because we're on the same wave-length?" James wiggled his eyebrows.  
  
"Grow up, Potter." Lily sighed.  
  
"I am, I'm sixteen. One more year and I'm a full-fledged wizard." James replied cockily.  
  
"So what! I'm sixteen too!" Lily stuck her tongue out at James.  
  
"Yeah, by a whole day! Not even, today's your birthday, isn't it?" James retorted.  
  
"So?"  
  
"Happy Birthday Lily, again!" Rowan giggled. She had taken Lily shopping for a birthday present earlier. The present ended up being the outfit that Lily was now wearing. Lily wasn't exactly thrilled with it, it was a bit on the skimpy side.  
  
"Yeah, Happy Birthday Lily." Sirius nodded.  
  
"So, I'm guessing the movie was to celebrate?" Rowan asked.  
  
"Yeah. My dad was gonna pay for us. He told me to invite a bunch of people, but I was like 'Just Rowan, thanks!'. By the way, James, I don't know what you said to my dad, but he keeps on asking me about you. And saying I should invite you for dinner. I mean, what did you say to him?" Lily leaned far out her window, so that she was practically in Rowan's room.  
  
"Nothing really. I told him I wanted to make sure you were ok, the other day. And I think he was surprised that you didn't throw me out right away- yelling and cursing. He said you were in 'one of Ithose/I moods'." James laughed, coming to the window.  
  
"Watch out, babe, you might fall out your window." James tugged a piece of Lily's hair.  
  
"Don't!" Lily whined. "Rowan, do you want to go to the movies or not? There's a good, well actually really bad, science fiction movie out, that would be good for laughs."  
  
"Well, Sirius and James are over."  
  
"Fine! They can come too. Are you satisfied?" Lily rolled her eyes, as both Sirius and James enthusiastically nodded.  
  
"Cool, come on over and I'll tell my dad." Lily pulled herself back into her room and shut her window. She disappeared out of her room, and within minutes she had money for tickets, and the four of them were ready to go. Lily's father seemed thrilled James was going with them.  
  
"Lily, may I have a word?" Mr. Evans pulled Lily aside for one moment, her friends chatting away as Petunia glared at them.  
  
"Lily, pumpkin, I think James is a fine boy. I'm glad you've picked him as your first boyfriend." Mr. Evans spoke in a low voice.  
  
"Daddy!" Lily nearly shrieked, and her friends looked at her, laughed, then resumed her talk. "Daddy, James and I are Inot/I going out!" Lily continued, more quietly.  
  
"Pumpkin, I know the way you two look at each other, and it's the way your mother and I used to look at each other." Mr. Evans cracked a smile, happy memories of his deceased wife flooding him.  
  
"Daddy, are you feeling well? Maybe you're sick. Yes, that must be it. Maybe you should lay down." Lily said seriously.  
  
"Lily, listen to me! Just remember, don't get too carried away. I remember what it is like to be 16. Go get him, Tiger." Mr. Evans gave Lily a push towards her friends, as Lily looked furiously at her father.  
  
~*~  
  
The four of them walked a short distance and caught a bus, easy to do in London. The bus took them to the train, which in turn took them to a few streets from the movie house, where the bad science fiction movie was playing. They had to wait awhile to purchase their tickets because they were too early.  
  
"Ugh, Rowan, next time you buy me clothes, make sure its long enough." Lily pulled on the skirt for the umpteenth time that night. She was wearing a denim mini skirt with a white halter top, both given to Lily by Rowan for her birthday, and Lily felt obligated to wear them at least once.  
  
"What do you mean?" Rowan looked up from her nails, which she was filing.  
  
"This skirt is way too short." Lily looked down at it, tugging it again.  
  
"I think it looks good." James grinned.  
  
"Yeah," Sirius echoed, "it looks long enough to me."  
  
"You two would think that, you're guys." Lily rolled her eyes. "This skirt isn't even 6 inches!"  
  
"All the better." James winked.  
  
"Its too short. My butt is practically hanging out. So gross." Lily kept trying to pull her skirt lower, without success. It was simply really short.  
  
"Come on, Lil. I told you it looked good. Do you need anymore than that?" Rowan shrugged.  
  
"I need to be covered!" Lily stated.  
  
"I think this skirt looks excellent on you, and its none too short." Sirius grinned.  
  
"Yeah, you are looking mighty fine in that." James nudged Lily.  
  
"You wouldn't know fashion if it bit you." Lily replied. "Its too short."  
  
"The minis are so in this year, babe." Sirius nodded.  
  
"I don't care! Especially if I look like some slut." Lily folded her arms across her chest.  
  
"You don't look like a slut. You look gorgeous and sex-y" James drew out the last word.  
  
"Shut it, you. I look like a slut, don't I? Rowan I told you this was too short in the store." Lily sighed.  
  
"Girl, the skirt looks good, even random girls in the dressing room said so." Rowan pointed out.  
  
"Yeah, I bet they were jealous since they couldn't pull off such an ensamble." Sirius added.  
  
"What?" Lily and James asked at the same time, thoroughly confused.  
  
"I don't know, my cousins say it all the time." Sirius shrugged, grinning sheepishly.  
  
"Riight." Lily shook her head.  
  
"Lily, the skirt looks good, and its your birthday present, so stop complaining and lets get our tickets." Rowan pulled Lily in the direction of the ticket counter, Sirius and James following, both checking out Lily's butt, which was very flattered by the short skirt. It was not 'hanging out' like Lily said.  
  
After getting their tickets, the four of them went in and chose seats in the last row. Finally, after what felt like a millennium to Lily, the movie started. She wasn't exactly happy on the seating arrangements; James was on one side of her, the isle on the other. But, this was better than sitting next to Rowan and Sirius, who were probably going to start kissing any minute now, seeing how the lights had gone out and the movie begun. About halfway through, James pretended to stretch and put his arm around her, though Lily just glared at him. James grinned and went back to watching the movie. Two seats down, as predicted, Sirius and Rowan were kissing noisily.  
  
"I don't get it, why doesn't she just run away?" James leaned over and asked Lily.  
  
"Because then there wouldn't be a plot, even if it is weak." Lily whispered back.  
  
"This movie is really bad." James lied, he actually though it was pretty cool. Muggle things, like movies, always fascinated him.  
  
"It makes it all the better!" Lily giggled as the lead actress got caught by the 'aliens' she was desperately trying to stay away from. The special effects were horrid, and the costumes bad. James sighed and relaxed farther into his seat. This was the life. Here he was, with Lily Evans, in a dark room, watching a movie. Granted he though Sirius could be a little quieter, but hey, he was entitled to his own happiness. Suddenly, the movie ended, and the lights came on.  
  
"That's it?" James asked, bewildered. "But- nothing happened. Did they just let her go?"  
  
"Yes, James, the aliens did. She gave into their probing and they let her go. I told you it would be a bad movie." Lily stood up and stretched. James followed suit and looked over at Sirius and Rowan. They were still kissing.  
  
"Ahem!" Lily cleared her throat loudly. Sirius and Rowan looked up.  
  
"Just friends, eh?" James grinned.  
  
"Come on, the movie's over and everyone is leaving. Time to go." Lily stepped out into the isle, waiting for the rest of her party.  
  
"Already? But the night is young!" Sirius complained as the four of them were leaving.  
  
"Then what do you propose we do? We're too young to go anywhere." Lily said pointedly.  
  
"Well, we could go clubbing. My cousin works at The Rave, and she could get us in, free drinks too." James mentioned, nonchalant.  
  
"Yeah- The Rave is awesome. And James' connections always pull through." Sirius nodded vigorously.  
  
"It would be fun." Rowan looked at her feet. Lily stood there with her hands on her hips.  
  
"So, you guys are suggesting that we sneak into a club, and get free drinks, though we are Iunderage/I?" Lily asked, wrinkling her nose.  
  
"Of course, Evans, only you would put it that way." Sirius sighed.  
  
"What are you implying?" Lily's voice raised an octave as they went outside.  
  
"Nothing, Evans, just that only YOU would think of it that way. You never do anything on the edge." James shrugged, leaning against the wall of the movie house.  
  
"I can be on the edge." Lily sounded defensive.  
  
"That's a good one, Evans." Sirius laughed. Rowan remained strangely quiet.  
  
"I can too! We'll go to- to this nightclub, and we'll see who can be wild if she wants to!" Lily whirled around and flagged a taxi.  
  
"The Rave, please, and step on it." Lily gave the orders to the driver once they all crammed into the car. James looked to Sirius with approval.  
  
They were outside of the nightclub when Lily stopped at a payphone, to call her father.  
  
"Daddy? We're going to go dancing for awhile-yes-yes-don't worry-no-yes- don't wait up for me-no. Love you-bye." Lily hung up the phone.  
  
"Now, Potter, where's this contact of yours?" Lily smirked, she'll show them.  
  
"Come around back, please. Allie is at the backstage entrance." James grinned and ushered them to the back of the large black building, where the party was already thriving.  
  
"James Potter! Its about time you came to see your cousin. And who are these? I recognize Sirius, but I don't know these young ladies. You all are 18, right?" a thin, petite woman, who looked to be in her early 20s saw James and the others as they came around the side of the building. She was fair skinned, had shoulder length brownish blonde hair, and blue eyes that were identical to James'.  
  
"Right." James answered for all of them. "this is Lily and Rowan. Its Lily's 16th birthday today- we're celebrating." James motioned to each of the girls.  
  
"Well, she's 18 for tonight, got it? All of you are." Allie said this very clearly, and the four nodded their heads in agreement.  
  
"Thanks a lot, Allie." James called as she opened a large black door for them, writing large X's on their hands with a highlighter.  
  
"No problem for a favorite cousin and a few fellow Gryffindors." Allie winked as the door shut behind them.  
  
"What's with the X?" Rowan saw that the highlighter stood out brightly in the purple light of a black light that was the main source of lighting in the backstage area.  
  
"Means we get free drinks, employee's friend. This way." James motioned them to follow him, into a hallway then into a large room, light by strobe lights, black lights, and other types of party lights. Dance music was pounding in their ears, and people were dancing on the dance floor. A wall of the room is devoted to a bar.  
  
"Let's dance!" Rowan pulled Sirius out onto the dance floor.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Special- Lily's POV~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
James smirked at Sirius and Rowan, then grabbed my hand, pulling me onto the dance floor with him. I silently regretted every time I had been nice to him this summer, seeing that it got me here.  
  
I'Well, I need to show this boy a lesson anyway. Who does he think he is, insinuating that I'm boring. HA! I can be wild, if I want. Heheh, James isn't the only one staring at me tonight- a few guys even stopped dancing with their partners to look at me. What is their problem- I'm not that good looking. Hmm. James isn't that bad of a dancer, I just wish he wasn't pulling me closer. Oh my god, would Sirius and Rowan get a room? The bump and grind is SO tacky. Oh dear lord, its catching on. Ugh. Bumping and grinding with James. How pleasant.'/I  
  
"Evans, you're a good dancer." James said in my ear. He wasn't too bad at it, he could keep beat, which was better than most guys here.  
  
"Not too shabby yourself, Potter." I heard myself reply. I'WHY DID I JUST SAY THAT? Ugh, Lily, get a grip. You're only dancing with the boy, not dating him. EVER.'/I The song finally ended.  
  
"I need a drink." I told James. He followed me over to the bar. Obviously, I'm going to have to prove to him that I'm more than just a goody-two shoes. I looked at the specials. Exotic.  
  
"One raspberry margarita, please." I said with a sly smile, showing my hand with the X to the bartender.  
  
"Make that two. We're friends of Allie." James said from behind me. I wish he wouldn't do that- he is always right behind me, where I can't see him.  
  
"Sure thing." The bartender turned away to make our drinks. I turned around, and found my self face to face with James' chest.  
  
"Ok, that's a sign that you're standing too close!" I pushed James back slightly.  
  
"Its nothing compared to when you're dancing out there, Lils." James grinned suggestively.  
  
"My name is Lil-LEE. And, that's dancing, not standing." I sniffed.  
  
"Miss, your drink." The bartender handed James and me our drinks. I sipped mine. I could stand it without the alcohol, but the taste was refreshing. Kind of tangy. I liked it.  
  
"Mmm. This is good." James downed his in an instant. Then he got a cold- headache.  
  
"You idiot!" I laughed, snorting into my drink. I finished quickly, without getting a headache. Stupid James.  
  
"Ready for more?" James motioned to the dance floor.  
  
"Potter, I'll always be ready for more." I replied sarcastically, and pulled him out there. I'LILY! Are you stupid?! You're leading him on. Don't do that. DON'T DO THAT! He's going to think that its ok for him to harass you about dating him. If he does, you'll deserve it!/I'  
  
Again on the dance floor, dancing with James Potter. Now that we're not so close, I can see that, hands down, James is one of the best dancers there. Most of the guys absolutely sucked! This was kinda fun, a circle was forming around James and I- we were that good.  
  
"Not too bad for a good girl." James laughed as the next song began.  
  
"I told you already- I can be wild if I want to." I winked at him. 'ILily, what are you doing?/I' That cynical conscious of mine was growing dimmer and dimmer- I really couldn't hear her anymore. This was fun. We were bumping and grinding again. I was practically in his lap.  
  
"Woah, Tiger. Don't fall over." James pulled me closer, it felt nice to be so close to someone.  
  
"Another drink, perhaps?" James asked when the song was done.  
  
"Yeah. Same thing as last time- that was so good!" I giggled. Rowan and Sirius were at the bar when were got there.  
  
"Hey Lils- you and James were good out there." Sirius nodded approvingly.  
  
"I know!" I giggled again. Rowan was sipping something out of a shot glass.  
  
"What's that you're having?" I wanted to know.  
  
"Cherry Jell-O shot." Rowan grinned at me. She seemed to be having a good time too.  
  
"Here's your drink." James put a cold glass in my hand. "Thanks." I flashed him a smile. We talked a bit, about nothing really.  
  
"You done?" James pulled my empty glass from my hand. It wasn't glass, really. It was cheap plastic. But it was all the same.  
  
"Yeah- let's dance!" I laughed and once again, found myself dancing with James Potter, as close as we could manage it. The heat of his body, the feel of his breath of my neck. It all felt so good. I never wanted it to stop. What am I thinking?! This is James Potter! I mean, JAMES POTTER! Who cares? Its all right for now. Just for now.  
  
I don't know how long we were dancing, but boy, was it fun! I never knew James could dance. Sirius cut in once, letting James dance with Rowan for awhile. He wasn't half-bad either. The DJ played awesome music. I think The Rave had some sort of exotic theme tonight, judging from the drink specials, and the music. I was dancing with James when the DJ announced a dance contest. I looked at James, he shrugged.  
  
"Why not. You do know how, right?" James took my hand. The DJ announced that the first song was the rumba. Almost the whole floor cleared. I know the rumba- my mother taught it to me when I was little. It seems like yesterday when she and I would play dress up and she taught me how to dance all these foreign dances.  
  
"Ready?" James whispered, the song began. Boy I was ready. I was ready for this a long time ago. We started dancing. James was amazing, no doubt. I wonder where he learned to dance. He leads very well, not forceful, just guiding. His cousin, Allie, was walking around the dance floor, I guess she was the judge. She was wearing some ridiculous Spanish dress, obviously forced to- deciding from the look on her face. There were seven pairs on the dance floor, including James and me, and two got out on this song. They were really bad, crashing into each other.  
  
The song ended, and the DJ asked us our names. Sirius and Rowan were cheering for us, with a lot of the crowd. The next dance was announced: the cha-cha. Again, my mind floated to the memory of my mother and I, in silly costumes dancing away in the cleared away space of our living room. James wasn't perfect with his steps, but I was able to guide him. Front, back, cha cha cha. The music could take you away, the song's emotions becoming your own. Three more pairs were asked to leave the dance floor. It was down to two other people and us. They looked professional; they were really good. Last song: the tango. A song about love and obsession: oh fun! I remember my mother.  
  
The first few notes hung in the air. The dance started. James was too gentle at first, my mind began wandering. I looked at everyone on the edge of the dance floor, clapping and cheering for us. I winked at Sirius. James led me a little more forcefully, so that my attention was on him. I smiled at him. He let me into a huge dip, so that I was seeing upside down. With me free hand I waved at Rowan. This seemed to tick James off, he was becoming less and less gentle as we danced. The song progressed, and then I realized, song itself was jealous, not James. It wasn't until the last notes died that I saw we were the only ones out on the floor.  
  
"And the winners are James Potter and Lily Evans!" The DJ shouted into his microphone. We won! I couldn't believe it.  
  
"We weren't that good- were we?" I muttered to James as we stepped up to the DJ's table. He presented us with Rave shot glasses. 'Best Dancer' was engraved on the side. I giggled. We did win.  
  
"Wow, you guys, how did you learn to dance like that?" Rowan asked excitedly as we went to join her and Sirius.  
  
"My mother and I used to dress up and play these silly games. Sometimes we would act out scenes from movies, and my mother taught me to dance; we goofed off the whole time. It was so fun." I smiled out of memory. I could still see how she looked in her flouncy skirt and ruffled top, coaching me through the steps, playacting until we fell down in a fit of giggles.  
  
"That's so sweet!" Rowan grinned.  
  
"So James, what's your excuse?" Sirius turned on him.  
  
"When Allie was learning, she needed a partner. I was her favorite cousin, so I got the part." James shrugged. "We should see her dance soon, she says she goes on right after the dance contest. She dances flamenco professionally."  
  
"I'm guessing you're talking about me." Allie came up behind them.  
  
"Yeah, you going on soon?" James asked his cousin.  
  
"Yes- right after I take your picture for our wall of winners." Allie held up a muggle camera. James pulled me close to him, and put his arms around me. We smiled as the flash practically blinded us. It was a Polaroid camera, so as soon as the picture developed, both James and I autographed it.  
  
"Good! Now, I'll see you guys later, I have a performance to do." Allie waved and walked quickly to the hallway where we had come into this night club, what felt like hours ago. I checked James' watch, having not though of wearing one myself. It was hours ago! It was already one am!  
  
What little light had been in the room suddenly went dark. The bright stage lights came on, and the curtain opened to reveal a small stage, big enough for a band to play on, or a dancer to dance on. Allie walked on stage, amidst clapping and cheering. I got very cold suddenly. And nauseous. Very nauseous. I felt like throwing up. I shivered in the cold.  
  
"Lily, Lily are you ok?" It was James, he looked so concerned.  
  
"I don't feel well." My voice sounded so pathetic, but I didn't care. I had to get out of this room!  
  
"You don't look well. Let's get you some fresh air." James said something to Sirius then pulled me away from the crowd, down that purple hallway. Everything was going in and out of focus. I swayed slightly. I had to get out of this place. It was suffocating me!  
  
"Just a little further, come on." James opened the door which we had come in. He pulled me out into the open, under a street light. The light helped. I could feel the warmth of it. I could feel the warmth of James' body. I moved closer to him, I needed to get warm again. He hugged me to him, and the painful cold that had gripped me was receding. I laid my head on his shoulder, taking deep breaths. I was feeling better, not 100 percent, just better.  
  
"How's that?" James looked at me.  
  
"Better, much better." I answered. He smoothed my hair, which had been getting in my face. He kissed my forehead.  
  
"Was it the dark again?" He asked quietly.  
  
"I think so." My voice was still kinda shaky. I didn't want him to let me go; I felt like I might fall, if he did, into oblivion.  
  
"Lily, what happened last term- it was more serious than you know. You didn't fall on accident. You were attacked."  
  
"It was an accident." It had to be. Who would attack me?  
  
"Lily, trust me, it was no accident. I want you to be careful- someone has it out for you. I care about you." James smoothed my hair again. I wanted to cry, because I did believe him. How could I not? He had been the one to find me. A tear slipped down my cheek. I tried to brush it away, but James got there first.  
  
"I know its hard, but whoever it is, we'll face them together. I won't let you go at them alone." James hugged me tighter. All I could do was cry. I hated these feelings I had for him. He was so nice, so sweet to me. IBut I don't deserve it./I  
  
"Lily, you're never alone. Remember that. You never have to be alone." James wiped my tears away.I But I am alone, don't you see? I am so alone./I  
  
He leaned down, and I turned my head. "Please, don't." I whispered. If he kissed me, who knows what floodgates would open? I had to stay in what little control I had. I think he was disappointed.  
  
"James- its just that-" I sighed. How do I put this, so he'll understand? "Some other time." I said, letting my head gently fall onto his shoulder. IAll I need right now is a friend, and you're doing just fine./I I could feel him smile. His whole being seemed to get lighter, as if some heavy weight was lifted off.  
  
We moved apart as the back door to the nightclub slammed. Sirius and Rowan joined us outside.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*  
  
Chapter 2: The beginning of the end.  
  
It had been over a year since Lily's 16th birthday, she was now 17, and soon to be the Head Girl of Hogwarts. She was so proud in fact, that she had used her shiny new badge as a hair accessory, holding the crazy up-do that Rowan fashioned for her together. Lily hadn't spent time with James Potter since her 16th birthday, and by the time they had returned to school after that summer, James had gone back to his earlier attitude; which was one Lily would have nothing to do with. And so, things went back to 'normal', though Lily's reaction to the dark was strange, the school nurse couldn't find anything seriously wrong. Over the year her reaction lessened, so now Lily merely got cold, rather than ill when in a completely dark room.  
  
Even so, while things were 'normal', everyone began to change. Sirius left his childhood home, and moved in with the Potters. His uncle had recently agreed to provide him with a flat for Sirius' own use after his final year at Hogwarts. James began to realize that playing professional quidditch wasn't as inviting as it once seemed, and while still a quidditch fanatic, applied himself more in school so that he could go into the career of his choice: Auror, or a dark wizard catcher. Lily decided that teaching as a career after Hogwarts would have been nice, it didn't offer the excitement she wanted; so she also was searching for a job in the Ministry of Magic and was most studious than ever. Rowan, who was able to achieve OWL scores way above the normal for her school, was allowed to transfer into Hogwarts in her 6th year, as her school had no more advanced classes that were challenging enough for her. And so this day: their first day of their 7th and last year, was the beginning. The beginning of the end.  
  
Rowan and Lily were chatting away in their compartment on the Hogwarts Express. Rowan had just finished styling Lily's hair, pulling it all up, off her shoulders. It was messy, and a few curls were hanging down, but it looked cute with Lily's Head Girl badge pinning it all together. The badge itself was nice, silver with the Hogwarts crest, and the words Head Girl, along with Lily's name, engraved on it. The two girls were giggling when someone stepped up to their open compartment door.  
  
"Rowan, Evans." James Potter greeted them both. He was looking proud, with the Head Boy badge pinned to his white t-shirt.  
  
"Potter, give the Head Boy back his badge. It doesn't suit you." Lily rolled her eyes.I'When will James grow up?'/I  
  
"Its mine, didn't they tell you? I'm Head Boy." James smirked, glad that Lily noticed his badge.  
  
"Potter, give it back to the person that Iearned/I it. Though, whoever it is, is gonna be a sucky Head Boy if they already lost their badge on the train ride." Rowan and I giggled.  
  
"I earned it. See?" James pulled a piece of parchment addressed to himself from his pocket, and handed it to Lily. Sure enough, it was the Head Boy appointment letter, appointing James Potter as Head Boy and quidditch captain for Gryffindor house.  
  
"Congratulations then." Lily handed back his letter.  
  
"That's it? Just congratulations?" James asked.  
  
"Well what do you want, then?" Lily regretted she said it, the moment it slipped out.  
  
"A kiss, maybe?" James pretended to be innocent. Lily grinned evilly, with an idea.  
  
"Of course, Potter, you deserve it." She stood up and kissed James on the cheek. Both Rowan and James were shocked by Lily's answer. Rowan laughed though, along with Lily, at James face. He actually thought that Lily was going to kiss him.  
  
"Aww, don't I feel special!" James quickly recovered himself. A kiss on the cheek was better than a slap, he reminded himself.  
  
"You should, since I don't kiss just Ianybody/I" Lily answered him sarcastically.  
  
"Since I'm so special, could I get another one, maybe a real kiss this time?" James was pushing his luck, and he knew it. He ran a hand through his hair, smoothly messing it up.  
  
"And that last one wasn't real enough for you?" Lily purposefully misunderstood him.  
  
"Nope, not at all. I think I need another to convince myself it was real." James grinned.  
  
"And since you're so ungrateful for the one I did give you, you can just leave!" Lily took the opportunity to push him out of her and Rowan's compartment, and shut the door.  
  
Lily and Rowan just looked at each other, then burst into giggles.  
  
"Did he actually expect me to kiss him?" Lily laughed.  
  
"Judging from his face, I think so!" Rowan replied.  
  
"You know," Rowan continued, her laughter subsiding, "you and James flirt a lot. Why don't you just go out with him?"  
  
"EW! That's James Potter, we're talking about. That is SO wrong. I mean, come on, he's just a giant bully and a prat and-"  
  
"Lily, I get the picture. But you two do flirt a lot."  
  
"Maybe he flirts with me, but I Ido not/I flirt with him. IDo not./I" Lily was very firm.  
  
"Then what was that you were just doing with him?" Rowan looked pointedly at Lily.  
  
"Conversing and giving him a hard time!"  
  
"More like flir-ting!" Rowan stretched out the last word in a singsong voice.  
  
"Rowan! Anyway, I have your bracelet- you left it at my house." Lily hastily changed the subject. "Its in with my jewelry, if you want it."  
  
"Ok." Rowan got up and began digging through Lily's trunk for her bracelet. What she found, was something else.  
  
"Lily, I can't believe you still have this!" Rowan was holding up the shot glass that Lily had won at The Rave, on her 16th birthday. I'I don't remember packing that./I' Lily thought to herself. Lily reached out her hand to take it, when their compartment door slid open and Sirius Black bounced in, followed by his three best friends in the world: James, Remus and Peter.  
  
"The Marauders hath arrived to spreadeth glee!" Sirius planted himself in the seat opposite Lily, which was next to Rowan.  
  
"What's that you got there?" Sirius snatched the shot glass the Rowan has holding out to Lily.  
  
"Hey, Lilsey, I remember this!" Sirius grinned as he saw what it was. "Collecting memorabilia of James, I see."  
  
"My name is Lily." Lily muttered through clenched teeth.  
  
"Hey, I gotta see this!" Remus Lupin took the shot glass from Sirius. "Best Dancer? I don't get it." Remus then handed the glass to Peter, who, after examining it, gave it to James.  
  
"Lilsey and Prongs won a dance competition at the Rave when we went to celebrate Lilsey's 16th b-day. As prizes, they got shot glasses and their picture on the wall of contest winners. They even autographed their picture!" Sirius howled with laughter, along with Rowan, Remus and Peter.  
  
"Its Lily." Lily said loudly through her clenched teeth.  
  
"So what you still doing with this, anyhow?" Sirius took the shot glass back from James, and was tossing it in the air, then catching it.  
  
"I don't know, I honestly don't remember packing it." Lily wished the Marauders would leave. They were an annoying bunch, and today was no different.  
  
"Sure you don't." Sirius smirked.  
  
"And what's it to you if I keep a shot glass?" Lily asked.  
  
"That means our Head Girl has some bad habits, and she needs to be reported." Sirius said in a mock little-kid voice.  
  
"I never said I used it for drinking. Maybe I keep other things, like earrings in there." Lily pointed out.  
  
"Who would use a shot glass for that?" Peter scoffed. Lily wrinkled her nose in disgust. She liked Peter the least of all the Marauders.  
  
"I would." Lily narrowed her eyes and snatched the glass, mid-toss, from Sirius.  
  
"Nice, catch, Evans. Sure you don't want to play quidditch?" James laughed at Sirius' face when Lily took her shot glass back.  
  
"No, I want both my feet firmly on the ground, thank you." Lily was wondering when their visit with the Marauders would be over. Of course, this was loads better than the hexing of practical jokes they used to play, but not much. A saying popped into Lily's mind, that reminded her of the Marauders: Company, like fish, goes bad after three days. Only for the Marauders, it was more like three minutes.  
  
"So, what's new with you, Evans?" Sirius stretched out, putting his feet up on the seat next to Lily.  
  
"Enough already. Would you guys just leave?" Lily pushed Sirius feet off the seat.  
  
"Why? We were having a good conversation." Sirius shrugged and grinned at his friends.  
  
"Because you all are annoying. Find someone else to bug." Lily complained.  
  
"I don't know, we're not so annoying, are we Sirius?" James cocked his head to the right.  
  
"I don't think so. How about you, Remus?" Sirius turned to his friend.  
  
"I have to agree with you, Padfoot. Wormtail?"  
  
"We're not annoying." Peter shrugged.  
  
"I think we'll stay." Sirius grinned at Lily, who groaned.  
  
"Come on, Evans, its not so bad." James grinned at her.  
  
"Yes it is." Lily rolled her eyes. Then, she got an idea.  
  
"You know, guys, I don't think you want to stay." Lily told them.  
  
"Why not? I think this compartment is comfier than the rest." Sirius shrugged.  
  
"Because, well, Rowan and I have things to discuss." Lily smiled sweetly. "Things that you don't want to hear about."  
  
"Try us!." Remus laughed.  
  
"Rowan?" Lily turned to her friend, who finally found her bracelet, and was placing it on her wrist.  
  
"I'm warning you guys, it won't be pretty." Rowan added, completely serious, realizing where her friend was going.  
  
"Try us!" Peter echoed Remus.  
  
"Ok, but don't say we didn't warn you." Lily said sympathetically. "Now Rowan, when you were going through my trunk, did you find my tampons? I don't remember if I packed them or not." At the word tampons, all four boys went completely white.  
  
"What's wrong Sirius, James? We're just talking about tampons. Don't tell me the Marauders are afraid of girl talk." Rowan tried not to laugh.  
  
"Yeah, we haven't even gotten to any of the bloody details yet." Lily made a pun, but the Marauders didn't find it funny at all. On the contrary, they looked quite sick.  
  
"Know what? I think we'll be on our way." Remus and the rest of the Marauders quickly left the girls' compartment.  
  
"We got rid of them." Lily grinned. "The old tampon trick, never fails."  
  
"Good thinking, Lils." Rowan and Lily finally let out their pent-up laughter.  
  
It wasn't until the end of the train ride that any of the Marauders came close to their compartment. It was James who came, and he knocked loudly on the doorframe.  
  
"I'm not, err, interrupting anything, am I?" He asked loudly.  
  
"No, Potter, we're not 'discussing' anything. Its safe for you to come in." Lily called, giggling.  
  
"Oh good." James sounded relieved. "You and I are supposed to go to the front. Head Student stuff."  
  
"Ok. Be right there- let me change quickly." Lily shut the door in his face, then locked it. She quickly got changed into her black Hogwarts school robes, and told Rowan to save her a seat in the hall, if they didn't meet up before then. When Lily opened the door, James was still standing there, which slightly annoyed Lily. 'IYou'd think after five years he'd get the hint I don't like him./I' She thought to herself.  
  
"Its not nice to shut doors in people's faces." James said as they were walking to the front of the train.  
  
"Its not nice to harass people." Lily shot back.  
  
"Touché." James smiled and held open the door to the front compartment of the train for her.  
  
"Where is everyone?" Lily asked, then turned around. James was locking the door. "Potter- just what is going on?"  
  
"Nothing. You and I need to talk." Lily eyed him suspiciously.  
  
"Get your mind out of the gutter, I just want to talk with you. Not since your 16th birthday have we been able to talk alone. Or seriously for that matter." James said matter-of-factly, sitting down, and motioning for Lily to sit also. "The Head student/ prefect meeting doesn't start for ten minutes. I figured you and I could catch up in that time."  
  
"If you don't let me out, I'll scream." Lily threatened.  
  
"And what will you tell everyone? That I wanted to talk with you, hold a decent conversation for once?" James smirked.  
  
"Fine. What do you want to talk about?" Lily folder her arms, and sat down, looking out the window.  
  
"How's your thing with the dark rooms? Do you still get sick?" James asked.  
  
"No, I just get cold."  
  
"Ok, and your mother-" James began.  
  
"Don't even mention my mother. I don't want to talk about her." Lily cut him off.  
  
"Well, then. How has your summer been?" James shrugged and leaned back in his seat, watching Lily, who was looking intently out the window.  
  
"Why do you care?" Lily sneered.  
  
"I do. So, how was it?" James repeated.  
  
"It was good."  
  
"Lily, I'm trying to hold a real conversation with you, and you're making this hard. Why won't you talk to me?" James cut to the chase. Lily looked at him, comptemplating what to say.  
  
"How do I put this? I don't like you, and you don't get the hint. You constantly harass me about going out with you, even though I've made it clear that I don't want to. You're horribly annoying and stuck up. Oh, and you're no better than all the Slytherins you make fun of." Lily said plainly. James took all this into consideration. He tried hard, very hard, not to let Lily's last biting comment get to him.  
  
"Is that what you think?" He asked.  
  
"Yes, it is."  
  
"Interesting. Maybe someday we'll see eye to eye." James took her rejection remarkably well.  
  
"I doubt it. You'll never change." Lily looked out her window again.  
  
"People change all the time, Lily. You are definitely not the Lily Evans from a year ago, who, on her 16th birthday, thought she had to prove to me that she could be on the edge. Nor am I the same 'stuck up' 16 year old who thought only of dating a pretty girl." James told her, in all seriousness. His tone and words made Lily look at him again. 'IMaybe he is growing up, at last./I' Lily thought to herself.  
  
"You're right, I'm not the same. I know better now, and I even regret what I did. But what's done is done. Show me you can change and grow up, Potter, and I'll think about it." Lily chose her words carefully.  
  
"So if I 'grow up', as you say, will you get off your high horse, thinking you're better than me and my friends?" James proposed a bargain.  
  
"You've got yourself a deal, Potter. You grow up, and I'll get to know your friends for who they really are." Lily stuck out her hand. James took it and they shook. Little did they know, they were bargaining their fate.  
  
Five minutes later, as promised, the prefects and head student meeting went as planned. Less that an hour later, the whole school, including the newly sorted first years, were seated in the Great Hall of Hogwarts, chowing down on the feast. Lily, holding true to her word, sat with Rowan next to the Marauders. It was an experience for all of them.  
  
"Pass the potatoes."  
  
"And the steak."  
  
"How about that dish of stuff over there?"  
  
"More black pudding."  
  
"Can you hand me that plate of.? Yeah, that one."  
  
"Aren't you girls gonna eat?" James looked at Lily and Rowan who hadn't put a single bit of food on their plates yet, as they kept passing dishes to the boys.  
  
"Maybe, if we get the chance." Lily muttered as she passed him the salad, finally grabbing some for herself.  
  
"That's the trick, Evans, just take some as it comes along. Oy! Hand me the chicken." Sirius called from two seats down. And so dinner passed much like that. I'They certainly eat enough.'/I Lily thought as she dug into her salad.  
  
"Is that all you're having?" Remus looked at Lily's plate. There was only salad.  
  
"Yeah. Salad is good for you." Lily looked at the boys' plates. They were piled high with a bit of everything, and they kept adding more as soon as room on the plate was made.  
  
"You need more than just salad!" Peter laughed.  
  
"I'll have dessert. I'm not a big supper person." Lily shrugged, eating some of her salad.  
  
"You don't even have dressing on that salad of yours." Sirius pointed out. "It has no flavor."  
  
"Yes, it does." Lily giggled. As if Sirius would know what flavor was, his food was so mixed up on his plate. "And besides, its healthier for you-"  
  
"Lily, you just uttered a swear against all good food. Never, Inever/I, say healthy, when referring to food. It's the kiss of death to good tasting food." James had a piece of potato on his fork, as he was talking with his mouth half full. Lily tried not to gag.  
  
"Well, if you want me to be fat." Lily began.  
  
"Nevermind then. Have fun eating your icky tasting food." James shrugged and swallowed.  
  
"Its not that bad. You should try it sometime." Lily suggested.  
  
"That's crazy talk."  
  
"But its good." Lily maintained  
  
"That's what they say about sushi." James pointed out.  
  
"And that's good too. Have you ever even had sushi?" Lily giggled at the Marauders' faces made at the mention of sushi.  
  
"No, and I never will. Raw fish is nasty. Meat should be cooked, so you don't get sick. Everyone knows that." James told her.  
  
"Well, maybe if you tried it, you'd find you liked it. Its just like escargot; you never know if you like something until you've tried it." Lily replied.  
  
"Escargot? Isn't that snails?" James made a face.  
  
"Yes, it is. It's a bit chewy, and tastes kind of like rubber- what?" Lily laughed at the sight that greeted her. Rowan was pretending to gag, and the Marauders looked horrified.  
  
"You've eaten SNAILS?!" Sirius asked, horror-struck.  
  
"Yes, in France actually. It was nice how they presented it. Came with really good garlic bread." Lily grinned.  
  
"You're joking, right?" Remus hoped.  
  
"No, I'm serious. I've eaten snails before." Lily laughed as the people around her looked revolted. "Don't knock something 'til you've tried it." Lily grinned.  
  
"Then you'll be trying this now?" James held out a piece of something to Lily. It was kind of gray, and funky looking.  
  
"Sure." Lily let James feed it too her. It had an interesting taste, though it was spicy. Spicy and grainy, but very similar to sausage.  
  
"Its very grainy." James was torn between being in awe and being disgusted.  
  
"That was haggis- stuffed sheep guts..." Peter said weakly.  
  
"Its grainy. And spicy. A lot like sausage though." Lily shrugged.  
  
"Lily, you must have a stomach of steel." Sirius said, completely in awe.  
  
"If you don't think about what you really are eating, you can eat most anything. Though I only ate canned octopus on a dare once, and that was the only reason. It was nasty." Lily wrinkled her nose.  
  
"That looked nasty too. Though I couldn't believe you took my dare, Lils." Rowan giggled.  
  
"You dared her? When, why, and how?" James asked, amused.  
  
"We were in the public elementary school, and we were learning about sea creatures. Well our teacher said that for a fun day, we could bring in edible sea creatures. Well, the teacher went shopping the night before in the discount isle, and came up with some interesting canned sea food for us to try." Rowan explained.  
  
"You went to a muggle school?" Sirius asked, interested.  
  
"Yeah, my mum thought it would be best, since she and my dad both had to work, and didn't have time to teach me themselves." Rowan shrugged, referring to the home schooling that wizarding parents usually took care of before they children attended Hogwarts.  
  
As the last bits of dessert disappeared from the golden platters, the headmaster of Hogwarts stood up. His name was Albus Dumbledore, and though an old man, he was quite energetic and lively. He looked fondly through his half-moon spectacles at the students he loved so dearly.  
  
"Another year has begun. Now, I hope you are all well fed and watered, as I must give out the customary start of term announcements. And I trust that older student will be paying attention, as I do have some very important announcements." Dumbledore's twinkling gaze landed upon the Marauders, who were being hushed by Lily.  
  
"As always, the forbidden forest is forbidden to everyone, the 7th years included." Dumbledore never took his smiling eyes away from the Marauders. "Quidditch tryouts are to be held the second week of term, see your house captains for details." James pumped his fist in the air, along with a few of the other quidditch fanatics in the school.  
  
"The head students this year are Lily Evans, and James Potter, both of Gryffindor house." Both Lily and James stood up briefly.  
  
"This year, Hogwarts is pleased to announce that we are holding a Unity Week here during the Christmas break, to promote friendship between international wizarding youth. During Christmas week, two foreign schools, Durmstrang Institute and Beauxbatons Academy, will be bringing some of their students here to spend the holiday with us. At the end of the week there will be a Unity Ball, open to fifth years and up, though any student may invite a younger student if they wish. I trust that you all will make our guests feel welcome, and will be on your best behavior. Now, with that being said, its off to bed with you all!" Dumbledore sat down as the rest of the school stood up and began filing out of the Great Hall.  
  
During the trek to the Gryffindor Tower, James had several younger students swarm him about quidditch tryouts, as he was captain of the Gryffindor team for what would be his third year. He sent most of them away.  
  
"James! James! Hey James!" A particularly annoying 2nd year, named David Creevy, called from behind.  
  
"David." James acknowledged him as he caught up with the Marauders plus Lily and Rowan. Last year, David had took it upon himself to become James' shadow whenever possible. Luckily, it wasn't too often. All of the Marauders had a knack for ditching people.  
  
"James guess what! Guess what! I'm old enough to play quidditch this year! Isn't that great?" David looked ready to pee his pants with excitement.  
  
"Uh, fantastic. I haven't set a date or time for tryouts yet, so watch the bulletin board." James gave David a lackluster reply.  
  
"That's great! I'll be there! I can't wait!" David called as he fell behind in the crowd of Gryffindors and Ravenclaws. The Gryffindors split from the Ravenclaws and continued towards their common room, with Lily, Rowan and the rest of the Marauders snickering at James.  
  
"James, I think that boy has a crush on you!" Lily giggled, throwing the rest of their group into laughter.  
  
"Good one, Lily." Sirius complimented her.  
  
"Haha, very funny." James glared at his friends.  
  
"It is." Remus grinned, their laughter subsiding. "You'd feel different if it was you." James shot back.  
  
"But its not us, its you." Peter giggled like a girl.  
  
"That kid is creepy. I think he was stalking me last year." James threw a glance over his shoulder.  
  
"Just like you used to do to me!" Lily exclaimed. "Maybe his little crush has turned into an obsession and he'll start bugging you about dating him!" Lily put an arm around James, pretending to confide in him. The Marauders and Rowan couldn't help it: they simply howled with laughter. Even the Gryffindors around them were giggling or smirking. James was not happy.  
  
"So, how does it feel to have it done back to you?" Lily was trying so hard not to laugh.  
  
"Its not the same, at all." James replied.  
  
"Oh but it is! You and I both had a Iguy/I stalking us. I think it is Iexactly/I the same!" A tiny giggle escaped Lily as she kept the other Gryffindors in stitches.  
  
"Geeze, love to stay, but I have things to do." James shied away from Lily and walked on ahead, disappearing from view as he rounded the corner.  
  
A few minutes later, the Marauders plus Lily and Rowan arrived at the portrait hole.  
  
"Geeze, Lily, you sure made James mad." Remus laughed.  
  
"Eh, I was just getting back at him for years of harassment." Lily shrugged.  
  
"Cherry Ice-cream." Lily gave the portrait the password she and James decided on during the head student/prefect meeting on the train.  
  
"I'm sorry miss, that's not your password." The fat lady in the pink dress in the portrait told Lily.  
  
"What do you mean, its not Imy/I password?" Lily asked.  
  
"The password is only good for the other Gryffindors. I have orders from the Head Boy that you are to have a different password." The portrait replied.  
  
"James!" Lily was furious.  
  
"You called?" James walked out of the shadows, coming up to Lily.  
  
"What did you do?!"  
  
"Nothing, nothing. Just getting you back. Revenge is sweet, isn't it Lily?" James circled her, whispering the last bit in her ear.  
  
"You better tell me what my password is." Lily was trying not to get angry.  
  
"Maybe, maybe not." James said nonchalantly.  
  
"Tell me!" Lily's voice had a whiny pitch to it.  
  
"I'll tell you what: if you apologize sincerely to me, I'll give you your password." James grinned.  
  
"You have ILily/I in a place where she'll do Ianything/I, and you're only making her apologize? Who are you and what have you done with James?" Sirius commented from the sidelines.  
  
"Shut up!" Both Lily and James said at the same time. They turned to each other.  
  
"I wouldn't take advantage of Lily that way." James said sweetly. "Now, that apology, Lily."  
  
"James-" Lily began, obviously not about to apologize.  
  
"Why don't you all go in, your password is the same. But you, Lily, aren't going anywhere until I get my apology." The Marauders and Rowan complied, though they complained noisily. Once they had left, it was just James and Lily in the corridor.  
  
"James, I-"  
  
"Lily, I want a sincere apology, that's all. Is that so bad?" James asked.  
  
"No." Lily sighed, he did have a point. "I'm sorry for embarrassing you in front of the tower. It was out of line for me to bring your past conduct into scrutiny, and impolite of me to insinuate that David had more than friendly feelings toward you. I'm sorry."  
  
"Very good. Apology accepted. You password is good for only tonight, tomorrow it will be the same as everyone else's. Here you go." James gave Lily a pack of ice mice, her favorite wizarding candy, and walked off.  
  
"Ice mice? But-" The portrait swung open. "Ice mice." Lily said to herself and climbed through.  
  
Lily flopped on her bed in her familiar round dormitory. Having stayed in the same dorm for 7 years, to Lily it felt like home more than anything. It was so nice to be back at Hogwarts, Lily forgotten how much she missed the musty old castle. She opened her pack of ice mice and ate them, laying on her back, looking at the red velvet canopy on her four poster bad. Life wasn't bad.  
  
After finishing her candy, Lily sat up and took out her diary from its hiding spot in the headboard. Once she found out that she would get the same room and bed every year, Lily had taken to just leaving her diary at Hogwarts. That was the only time she wrote in it, anyway.  
  
ISeptember 1st Well, this is it. The beginning of the end: my last year at Hogwarts has officially begun. I'm 17 now, and at the end of the year, I'll be a fully licensed witch./I  
  
Lily sighed as she looked at what she wrote. It was too depressing to think about, really.  
  
I Today I made some changes, and took responsibility: I came to terms with James Potter. We made a deal: If he would change and be more mature, I'd get to know his friends, and not act like I'm better than them. I honestly didn't know that I was doing that, but still. So to keep my end of the deal, I sat with the Marauders at dinner tonight. And I think I'll be hanging out with them a lot more, if I am to actually get to know them. The four of them goof off all the time, and I /IknowI that can't be how they really are. So lucky me, I get to spend at least the first month of my last year here, trying to get to know a bunch of goofballs. They are rather entertaining though, not nearly as annoying as I had thought before dinner. Remus has a dry sarcastic sense of humor, Peter just screws everything up, Sirius is more class clown, while James. I really don't know about him. He's a mixture of Sirius and Remus, but has his own brand of humor. But anyway, at least I can drag Rowan through my torture of getting to know the Marauders- she's had a crush on Sirius since she met him the summer before last. I wonder why they didn't date then, they certainly seemed /IfriendlyI enough. Anyway, I am really looking forward to James keeping his side of the bargain- one major problem, just gone! No more of him harassing me to go out with him, no more of those dumb pranks pulled on me- I swear, it will be heaven. I mean, he's already begun to act more mature. I had made an awful joke at his expense this evening, and for revenge he changed my password into the tower, though he said he would tell me if I gave him a sincere apology. Granted I could have lived without the password changing, but it was mature of him to request only an apology. If it was last year, he would have told me to stay out all night or go out with him. I think I am already liking the new James better. Also something I noticed- not one time during dinner did James mess up his hair. That used to bug me so much! What am I saying? My whole entry has been about James Potter! Oh well. Nothing else remotely interesting happened- except Dumbledore's announcement about Unity Week during Christmas vacation. Just think, foreign students coming here and spending Christmas with us at Hogwarts! It will be so much fun. And as Head Girl, I know I'll be spending a lot of time with our guests, and planning Unity Week too- I absolutely cannot wait!/I  
  
Lily smiled and put her quill down. She blew on the parchment diary, to dry the ink, then closed it and stowed the diary in its compartment in her headboard. Just as Lily was putting her pillow in front of the hidden panel, Rowan came bouncing into their dorm.  
  
"LILY! You so have to fill me in!" Rowan threw herself on her bed, and faced Lily.  
  
"On what?"  
  
"On James, of course! Like, why you went off with him 10 minutes Ibefore/I the prefect/head student meeting. And why we sat with him at dinner. And why you are getting so chummy with him. And why-"  
  
"Ok, ok, I get the picture. You want the scoop on James." Lily rolled her eyes. She should have expected this.  
  
"To answer several of you questions at once: James gave me the wrong time of the meeting so that he and I could have, as he put it, a real conversation. Well, I kinda got annoyed and he, point blank, asked me why I was giving him a hard time. So I told him exactly what I though of him, and he was like 'Maybe we'll see eye to eye some day'. And I told him that wasn't possible, as he wasn't gonna change, like ever. So to make this long story short, we made a deal: if I got to know his friends for who they were, and didn't act like I was better than them, again as James put it, then he would grow up and be more mature. So, that's it. The whole scoop on James. There's nothing else." Lily finished.  
  
"Somehow, I don't think that's all." Rowan smirked.  
  
"There's nothing else to know!" Lily scoffed.  
  
"I think there's something else- I think you like James, and you jumped at the chance to make him yours." Rowan hypothesized.  
  
"You've got to be kidding, right?" Lily laughed.  
  
"No, I'm not."  
  
"Come on, Rowan. I do not like James Potter. I simply agreed to this deal so that Imy/I life will be easier. And it is. Not once today has James asked me out, nor made some rude comment after our deal. I think life will be just peachy with a more mature James Potter."  
  
"Which is exactly what you wanted in him! Lily, don't you get he's trying to make ties with you by getting you to like his friends. He's been after you for years! And now he's giving you what you want, and you're giving him what he wants!" Rowan threw her hands up, thinking Lily had to be dense.  
  
"I am not!" Lily said, scandalized.  
  
"I hate to say it, but yes. By you 'getting to know his friends' you are going to be friends with him, there's no way around it. And many of the best romantic relationships started out as simple friendships." Rowan pointed out.  
  
"I have no clue where you're getting this information, but its wrong. I do not like James Potter. I am being nice to him, he's being nice to me. We're both going to make life more bearable by fixing the quirks that probably bother other people too. Its not as big of a deal as you seem to think it is." Lily was exasperated.  
  
"And what's so bad about being his friend? It doesn't mean that I have to date him then." Lily added in a very quiet voice.  
  
"You're right. But Lily, I know you. And from what I know about James, you two will be head over heels in love before you know it." Rowan said knowingly.  
  
"Whatever." Lily, let down her hair, taking her head girl badge from its place in her hair.  
  
"This is going to be great." Rowan sighed contentedly, laying back on her bed.  
  
"I think you're officially nuts." Lily rolled her eyes and began brushing her hair.  
  
"Lily, admit it, you had fun tonight." Rowan propped herself up on her elbows.  
  
"Yeah, so what? I had fun, you had fun. We all had a good time."  
  
"Now, imagine that all the time!" Rowan grinned happily.  
  
"I'll need a truck load of Aspirin." Lily looked pointedly at her friend.  
  
"Lily!" Rowan let out a noise that was a mixture of frustration and disgust "There's just no use in telling you."  
  
"Telling me what?"  
  
"That you and James are perfect for each other! Just get over it and date him already!"  
  
"You're right, there's no use telling me." Rowan rolled her eyes. Lily was hopeless.  
  
~*~  
  
So the next week passed nicely, And Lily kept her word: she did try to get to know the Marauders, by their nightly bonding time- aka, dinner. The Marauders, in turn, were getting used to having Rowan and Lily around, it was certainly a change to have two girls around them a lot of the time.  
  
"Its no fun when girls are around." Peter complained during dinner, a week into term.  
  
"Why?" Lily chuckled, taking a sip from her goblet. She had almost perfect table manners, and used them without knowing it.  
  
"All the things we can't do or say." Peter grumbled, pushing food around on his plate.  
  
"Oh? Like what?" Lily asked, interested.  
  
"Like we think you're way too clean." James jumped in. He was sitting directly across from Lily, and without fail, he noticed her perfect eating habits every time she sat with them.  
  
"Well, I'm sorry." Lily wasn't sure what to say to that. She wiped her mouth with her napkin, then returned it to her lap.  
  
"And your manners are too nice." James continued, putting a large amount of mashed potatoes on his spoon..  
  
"It just gets to you after awhile." James shrugged, then flung the mashed potatoes at Lily. She sputtered as the Marauders broke into laughter.  
  
"Oh, yeah, Potter?" Lily wiped the potatoes off her face. "You wouldn't know manners if they danced naked in front of you." And with that, she stood up and reached across the table, dumping an almost full pitcher of iced pumpkin juice on his lap. James nearly shrieked.  
  
"This is war, Evans!" James recovered himself and threw a handful of food from his plate at Lily. And with that, their mini-food fight began, though it didn't even last five minutes; but judging from the state of them, it could have been five hours.  
  
"POTTER! EVANS! GET UP HERE NOW!" Professor McGonagall, the transfiguration teacher sounded furious. Her sharp voice echoed throughout the hall, above the noisy din that settled over dinner in the Great Hall of Hogwarts. Everyone turned to see who was getting in trouble, and they all laughed when they saw the head boy and girl covered in that evening's dinner. The head students themselves were walking to the teacher's table; James was grinning while Lily was blushing, unless that was the tomato sauce on her face.  
  
"Yes, Professor?" Lily asked meekly when she and James arrived in front of McGonagall's place. Next to McGonagall was the headmaster himself, chuckling away in his gilded chair.  
  
"What, may I ask, were you two doing?" The Professor like asking questions she already knew the answer to.  
  
"I was trying to disprove a point that James insisted was true." Lily smiled sweetly and dug her elbow into James' ribcage to keep him silent.  
  
"I see, and what was this point?" McGonagall's eyebrows met her hairline- this was not the answer she expected, at least not from Lily Evans.  
  
"That girls are too clean and have perfect table manners. And I'm obviously proven wrong, if you take a look at Lily here." James chimed in. Dumbledore and many of the other teachers cracked up, though McGonagall, on the other hand, was not impressed.  
  
"Its not like that, Professor." Lily dug her elbow deeper into James' side.  
  
"I think its wonderful that James' believes I'm perfect," Lily paused and glared at James who was trying hard not to laugh, though no where near as much as some of the teachers.  
  
"But it's a hard façade to keep up. One simply cannot be perfect twenty- four hours a day, seven days a week. I'm sorry but I had to disillusion this poor boy, so that I could finally get a break." Lily smiled again, and the teachers who were only chuckling before were all out laughing.  
  
"I see." McGonagall's nostrils flared.  
  
"Now, now, Minerva." Professor Dumbledore came to their rescue.  
  
"I think these two have learned a valuable lesson from this, and I also believe that something like this will never happen again." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled merrily in Lily's and James' direction.  
  
"Never again, sir." Lily was inwardly very relieved. She nearly got her first detention!  
  
"Very well, then. Now, I suggest that you both go and get cleaned up, unless of course, you'd like to finish what is left of your dinner." Dumbledore chuckled.  
  
"I think we'll get cleaned up. Thank you sir." Lily glared at James as she dragged him out of the hall.  
  
"Aren't you the little smooth talker?" James smirked once they were out of the hall.  
  
"I wasn't made head girl for nothing." Lily grinned as they made their way to Gryffindor Tower.  
  
"But what was up with the 'girls are too clean'?" Lily asked.  
  
"Just trying to save Peter from looking stupid, once again. But it was pretty fun in there." James pointed out.  
  
"Yes! Mashed potatoes in my hair is just what I always wanted!" Lily said in false happiness.  
  
"But of course, who wouldn't?" James purposely misunderstood her.  
  
"Shut it, you." Lily rolled her eyes.  
  
"I didn't think perfect people told others to shut up!" James mocked.  
  
"Be quiet then! You know I only said that to get us out of trouble, which, if I might add, IT DID." Lily shot back.  
  
"Well, you're little food fight didn't do its trick, I still think you're perfect." James grinned, linking his arm with hers.  
  
"Oh darn. What else am I going to do to convince you I'm not perfect?" Lily pretended to be upset.  
  
"Nothing. I will always think you're perfect."  
  
"James." Lily said warningly.  
  
"Ok, I'll cool it." Whenever Lily decided James was going too far, she just had to warn him and he'd back off. She liked that A LOT.  
  
"Know what this reminds me of?" Lily giggled about five minutes later. "The Wizard of Oz!" James looked at her funnily.  
  
"It's a muggle children's book and movie." Lily clarified. "And I feel like I'm Dorothy, and you're the tin man, Sirius is the scarecrow, Peter is the cowardly lion," Lily let out a giggle, "and Remus is Toto the dog."  
  
"Err, right. Maybe someday you'll enlighten me." James had absolutely no clue what she was talking about.  
  
"Maybe I will." Lily nodded.  
  
~*~  
  
Chapter 3: the Animagi Within  
  
By the time October rolled around, Lily had pretty much fulfilled her half of the deal: she faithfully ate dinner with the Marauders every night, and was beginning to join them for most meals as it was. She learned tons about the Marauders: their pets' names to their favorite foods to muggle knowledge to political views. There didn't seem much else for her to get to know, and Lily didn't mind. She began to consider them her friends, as they were the people she would go to if she had a problem, such as rude name calling by the Slytherins. The Slytherins still hadn't caught on that the Marauders heard about every misdeed they did to Lily. Lily also felt that she could truly trust them, even if they did goof off a lot. If she needed a favor, she could count on any one of them to get it done. In fact, the Marauders, now used to her presence, liked having Lily around. She could be very funny, and added the feminine touch to things that needed it, like when trying to get out of detention, which Lily had become very good at.  
  
Even so, there were still some things that Lily didn't know, such as where Remus went every month.  
  
"Room check!" Lily pounded on the 7th year boy's dormitory. Lily did about twice as many checks on their room than what was required, but the room needed it. The house elves decided in the Marauders' third year that they refused to clean while the boys occupied the room. And since, the students on room check duty always had to force them to clean.  
  
"Aww, Lily, do we have to?" Sirius complained as he opened the door. All of Lily's room checks paid off: she could sometimes walk in their dorm. She stepped in, and Sirius shut the door behind here. The room itself was a disaster: there was stuff EVERYWHERE. Robes, dungbombs, joke supplies, parchment, quills, clothes, and what seemed to be all of their belongings were strewn across the room.  
  
"Yes, yes. Now get cracking." Lily folded her arms across her chest as the boys began to clean slowly. James felt bad for Lily to just stand there and cleaned off his bed for her to sit on, which she did. The two of them were just friends, both enjoying each other's company, but doing nothing more than occasionally flirting with each other, though they hadn't dated anyone else that year.  
  
"Lily, did you have to pick now?" Peter was shoving dirty clothes into a hamper while Lily stretched out on James' bed. She shivered.  
  
"Why is it so cold in here?" Lily looked about, then saw that the window was open. It had been unusually cold that October, so it was absolutely frigid out.  
  
"Why do you have the window open?" Lily asked, peeved because she was really cold. She crawled under James' blankets.  
  
"Lily, I just made that!" James whined.  
  
"Well I'll remake it then. I wouldn't be so cold if the widow wasn't open."  
  
"Its gets to hot in here if its shut." Sirius shrugged.  
  
"How come you only check our room? Don't the other boys' dorms need checking." Remus said sourly as he began to straighten his books and parchments.  
  
"Yeah, you must have some perverse pleasure in watching us clean." James added.  
  
"First off, its James' duty to check all the boys' dorms. I check this one because the house elves no longer clean it, and if I didn't you all would run out of clothes and wouldn't be able to find a thing. And second, I bet all the other Gryffindor boys' dorms aren't this bad, put together!" Lily shivered again and snuggled under James' blankets.  
  
"Would you guys hurry up?" We're gonna be here all night." Lily sighed exasperatedly.  
  
"Sweet, are we sharing then?" James winked suggestively at Lily.  
  
"No." Lily rolled her eyes. "Just hurry up." Lily was actually quite content in James' bed, watching the four clean. She was warm, for one, and two, his bed was comfortable. And she had to admit, she didn't mind the mix of smells, which reminded her of clean, and of James.  
  
"I'm done." Sirius wiped his hands and walked out of the dorm. Remus and Peter soon followed, as their shares of the dorm were cleaned. James was still plugging away at his.  
  
"James, while you may want to take all night so that you can sleep with Lily," Remus stuck his head in the door, about five minutes after he left, "just remember tonight is a full moon, and we have plans." Lily ignored Remus, as she did whenever any of the Marauders made a lewd comment about James' old affection for her. The two of them were just friends, for Pete's sake!  
  
"Oh crap." James remember the plans the Marauders had made the night before. "Lily, won't you please help me?" James tried a puppy dog face to try to get Lily to help him clean.  
  
"No." Lily giggled at the face and rolled over, facing away from James. He walked around the side of the bed, so that he was facing her. He kneeled next to her, and took her hands in his.  
  
"Please Lily? I'm begging you! It's a full moon and I got plans with the Marauders. Please?" James had perfected the puppy dog face when he was seven, and used it whenever he really wanted something, and then usually got it, if the giver was a girl.  
  
"No! I didn't make this m- oh my god." Realization dawned on Lily, and she sat up. Remus disappeared each month on the full moon. That could mean only one thing.  
  
"Remus is a- a werewolf." Lily said softly, her eyes wide with wonder.  
  
"You're not scared?" James and the rest of the Marauders expected nothing short of screaming and uncontrollable fear from everyone, so they didn't tell Lily, though they trusted her deeply. Though being a werewolf isn't exactly something you say to just anyone. James absently rubbed Lily's hand; he couldn't get over how soft her skin was.  
  
"No, I've always felt incredibly sad for werewolves, they are so misunderstood. Though, him being one does answer a few lingering questions." Lily shrugged. She was mad at herself for not figuring it out earlier: she had gone to school with this boy for 7 years, and she couldn't figure it out?  
  
"Well, then." James wasn't sure what to say. He traced a circle on the back of her hand.  
  
"Don't worry, I won't tell a soul. Who else knows besides them?" Lily asked, referring to the Marauders.  
  
"Only Snape. Sirius nearly killed the idiot on the full moon in May, 6th year. The dolt." James shook his head.  
  
"Hold on. What are you Sirius and Peter going to do when you sneak out? You're not going with Remus, are you?" Lily's eyes narrowed in suspicion. She figured that she already knew the answer, when James didn't say anything.  
  
I"Do you know how dangerous that is?"/I Lily hissed furiously, folding her arms across her chest.  
  
"Lily, its not like that." James took back Lily's hands, and looked into the infinite green of Lily's eyes. Even after resigning himself to being her friend, James couldn't help but admire the beauty that was Lily, inside and out.  
  
"You know I would never lead my friends into danger like that. You know Remus wouldn't stand for that either. He would feel so guilty if he bit one of us. Remember how depressed Remus was during June last year? That's because he nearly bit me when I pulled Snape away from the Whomping Willow."  
  
"James- I don't understand what you're saying. So you're sneaking out to be with Remus, but you're not? And what is this whole thing about last year and Snape?" Lily was confused, James needed to just tell her, not talk in riddles. She let herself look into James' eyes. She never noticed that James' eyes weren't a uniform color. It was more of a very dark blue, speckled with slightly lighter blue.  
  
"Ok, I guess you were going to find out anyway. We're animagus. Me, Sirius, and Peter." James said, a hint of pride in his voice.  
  
"It took us the better part of five years, but we did it. Padfoot, Wormtail, Prongs- our nicknames- that's based off our animals. I'm a stag, Sirius is a dog, and Peter's a rat. Remus is Moony, for the obvious reasons." James nearly laughed, but didn't. It didn't seem like a laughing moment. He did smile though, at the look of shock on Lily's face. She was stunned, most fully-trained wizards couldn't learn to become animagus, and her friends had done it, under the school's nose.  
  
"About Snape- Well, that's a story, to say the least. Sirius, and you know how much he adores Snivellus, get the brilliant idea of telling him that he could find out where Remus goes every month by prodding the knot on the willow- the one that freezes it. I was in detention, so when I crossed the grounds to meet up with the rest, I saw the stupid git trying to poke the knot. By the time I got there, he had gotten into the tunnel. I nearly got into a fist fight with Snape trying to get him out. Remus came around the corner, and well, Snape let me shove him out. I transformed and calmed Remus down. Then I had to go after Snape before he told the whole school. Luckily, he went to Dumbledore first." James sighed. He was looking at Lily's hands, taking in the perfection he thought them to be. Pale, soft skin, a freckle here and there, manicured nails; they were cared for, and caring things came from these hands, James could tell.  
  
"James, I- I never knew." Lily managed to say softly. She watched him recall the night last year that could have ruined everything. Flickers of emotion crossed his face, as he remembered the confrontation with Snape, then with Remus, and finally with the headmaster. At the end, what seemed like intense sadness left there.  
  
"Yes, well, that's everything. I don't think there is a single thing you don't know about the Marauders now." James smiled weakly, looking into her face; there was concern etched in, along with something else.  
  
"You've fulfilled your part of the bargain." James let go of her hands and stood up. "And I'll do mine. Lily, you can leave. I'll finish up here on my own." He turned his back to her; it hurt for him to do this, but he was a man of his word. He promised to leave her alone, if she got to know his friends. She did her part, now he has to do his.  
  
"But James-" Lily began, getting up out of his bed; she didn't understand. James walked across the room.  
  
"No, its ok, you've done what I asked for. Now I'm doing what you wanted. Goodbye Lily, the last month was fun." James opened the door for her.  
  
"If that's what you want." Lily said, almost frostily, then exited the dorm. She didn't know why, but James telling her it was over hurt. It almost felt as if a small thread came loose in her soul, and every step away from that room tugged it a little bit. Soon, she feared, there would be a hole.  
  
James shut the door behind Lily. I'No Lily, its not what I want.'/I James thought miserably to himself. He let himself slide down to the floor, hands in his hair, thoroughly and utterly miserable.  
  
~*~  
  
Lily stormed down the stairs, and quickly turned up the set to the girls' dorms. The Marauders and Rowan, who were chatting in the common room, looked at Lily pass by them, not acknowledging them at all, and then continue up to her dorm. Even the boys could tell that something was wrong.  
  
"I'll take James, you take Lily." Sirius got up, and started towards the boys' staircase, while Rowan followed suit and took the girls' staircase.  
  
"Lily, what's wrong?" Rowan found Lily sitting on the window seat in their dorm, staring out at the sunset. Rowan had only seen Lily look so hurt once: when Lily's mother died. Lily never cried at her mother's funeral, and only Rowan knew how much she did cry in her room afterwards; Rowan was there.  
  
"Nothing." Lily wasn't crying, which surprised Rowan, hearing such hurt and pain in her friend's voice.  
  
"Shh, everything will be ok. Did James do something?" Rowan sat next to Lily, putting a comforting arm about her shoulders.  
  
"Am I so repulsive that people can only spend a month with me?" Lily's voice shook.  
  
"No, honey, not at all! You and I have been best friends for years, Iyears/I. And that's way longer than a month." Rowan paused, "James didn't say that to you, did he?" She asked, shocked.  
  
"No, but it was pretty much implied. He said I knew everything about the marauders so I didn't need to hang around anymore." Lily pulled at a loose string in the seat cover.  
  
"And do you think he wanted you to leave?"  
  
"Yes, why else would he tell me to? He said 'Lily you can go now, I'll finish up on my own.' How much more clear can you get?" Lily buried her head in her knees, which were drawn up infront of her.  
  
"I bet right now he's kicking himself. He couldn't have meant it." Rowan seemed to be plead James's case for him.  
  
"Whose side are you on?" Lily sniffed.  
  
"Yours, hun. I'm always on yours." Rowan smiled and lifted Lily's chin.  
  
"He brought up the deal we made. He said I did my part, and he'll do his." Lily's eyes darkened with hurt.  
  
"I had forgotten about it. I considered him a friend. All of them. They'd do anything for me, it seemed like. I trusted them." The pain tightened Lily's voice. "Is there something wrong with me?"  
  
"No, never! You are perfect. You are head girl. You are my friend. And you are still the Marauders' friend. Friends can last a lifetime, if you let them."  
  
"But James won't let me." Lily's lips twitched as she tried not to cry. Was she truly horrible to be around?  
  
"I'm sure he wanted to. You said he brought up the deal you guys made. Didn't you want him, then, to leave you alone? Maybe he's just doing what he thought you wanted." Rowan pointed out gently.  
  
"He did say something about doing what I wanted." Lily seemed ever so slightly cheered up.  
  
"Then, what's to say he doesn't want to be your friend? I'm sure he still likes you." Rowan played out the last part in a sing-song voice.  
  
"Only as a friend. And that's more than good enough. He's nice to have around. All of them are." Lily sighed, thinking of all the good times she had with the Marauders: how they always cheered her up, how they would make her laugh, and best of all, how they made her feel special and welcome. Suddenly, there was a scuffling in the closet, then a loud thud, a "geroff me!", and some scratching noises. The door opened, and out spilled Sirius and James.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Rowan giggled at their dusty and mussed state, while Lily looked out the window. The sun had almost set.  
  
"Sorry, usually unused tunnel." Sirius grinned. "James has something to say." Sirius shoved James forward. Rowan looked a bit uneasy, and began inching towards the dorm door. Sirius did the same.  
  
"Uhh, Lily, could we talk?" James asked as Sirius and Rowan slipped out.  
  
"We are." Lily said shortly, not taking her eyes from the orange pink glow of the sun's dimming rays.  
  
"Lily, I'm sorry. I just did what I thought you wanted." James took Rowan's former seat across from Lily, who was sitting sideways on the window seat, her knees drawn up.  
  
"It had been, at one point." Lily answered vaguely, not really knowing what to say.  
  
"I hope now that's not the case?" James phrased it more as a question than a statement.  
  
"I thought we were friends." Lily looked at her knees. Her black school robes were slightly worn there, she had a fondness for kneeling.  
  
"We are, if you still want a git like me around." James let a small smile form on his lips.  
  
"What you said hurt. Don't do something like that again. For my sake, please." Lily looked at James, who hadn't strayed his gaze from her yet. He saw the hurt that still lingered in her eyes.  
  
"I never meant to hurt you. I only wanted to please you." James tucked a flyaway curl behind her ear. Lily nearly drew back, but didn't. James remembered back to the days before Lily's sixteenth birthday, when he did the same thing back at her house. It seemed like an eon ago, when he had been a totally different person.  
  
"You are so beautiful." James echoed his thoughts, before he could stop himself. Lily blushed and lowered her eyes. She sighed and looked up again, straight into his intricate blue eyes.  
  
"I-I- James?" Lily couldn't think of anything to say, her heart was beating a mile a minute and her stomach flipped uncomfortably.  
  
"Shh." James leaned forward and kissed Lily, softly, gently, just like Lily imagined her first real kiss to be. When James realized Lily wasn't going to push him off, or hit him, he deepened their kiss, and when Lily responded, nothing could have made him happier. They broke apart, and James decided I'Its now or never.'/I  
  
"Lily, this is the last time I'll ever ask you this, I swear. Will you go out with me?" James knew that if she still didn't like him that way after the accumulation of the past few weeks, there was no point in trying anymore. They would be friends, that is all. But right now, he had to ask.  
  
Lily looked into James' eyes, trying to figure out her own feelings. It was true that she no longer hated him, and might even like him more than a friend. She briefly thought back on the past few years that she'd known James Potter, how he had changed. He had definitely grown up, he was not the arrogant prat of a 15 year old she could remember so clearly. She'd grown to like him, his silly jokes, his stupid antics. Lily was happy, but did she want to mess it up? Lily took a deep breath.  
  
"Ask me again." Lily whispered, looking at her knees again.  
  
"What?" James asked, surprised.  
  
"One more time. please?" Lily looked back up at him. She needed to know if he'd go back on his word for her; nothing could mean more than that ultimate trust. And trust was what Lily needed right now, his trust in her, and she would follow with her trust in him, if he could do just this one thing.  
  
"Anything for you. Lily, will you be my girlfriend?" James breathed again, he didn't realize he had been holding his breath. Lily smiled, it was finally 'some other time'.  
  
"Yes, James." Lily answered, smiling. James quickly enveloped her in a hug.  
  
"You have no clue how long I've waited to hear you say that." James whispered. Lily couldn't help but broaden her smile. She just prayed she made the right choice. James released her and held her at arm's length, grinning. He kissed her again, as wonderfully as before. There was a knock on the door.  
  
"Uhh, Lily? We're not going to walk in on any gristly scene are we? You know I have a weak stomach." Rowan called from the hall. James and Lily broke apart, still smiling.  
  
"Door's open." Lily called, not taking her gaze from James. She was sure that life would be good dating James Potter: he adored her, was an excellent kisser and nothing seemed like it could go wrong. Her knight in shining armor had arrived a last.  
  
"So, how'd it-" Sirius broke off mid-sentence. From the way James and Lily were looking at each other, only one of a few things could have happened. Also, their appearance gave some hints too: Lily's slightly mussed hair, her flushed cheeks, and James was grinning like there was no tomorrow.  
  
"Congrats, Prongs. Though you will have to tear yourself from Lily- moon's rising in 15 minutes." Sirius grinned. James looked up briefly at Sirius then returned his gaze to Lily.  
  
"I'll see you tomorrow, unless you want to look out your window later." James kissed her cheek. Lily blushed, for her friends were in the room. James grinned and stood up, beckoned to Sirius, and the two disappeared into Rowan and Lily's closet, presumably to use the 'usually unused tunnel', to avoid using the girls' dorm stairs which would sound an alarm and the steps would turn into a stone slide.  
  
"So you finally broke down and are dating James Potter." Rowan giggled and jumped on Lily's bed, which was closest to the window.  
  
"Yeah, I did, didn't I? That's gonna take some getting used to. dating James Potter." Lily sighed happily, the smile that had formed earlier still lingering on her face.  
  
"So, I'm guessing he apologized. Pretty darn well, if you ask me." Rowan propped herself up on her elbows.  
  
"Yeah." Lily sighed again, and watched as the sun finally disappeared behind the horizon.  
  
"So." Rowan seemed to be expecting something.  
  
"Huh?" Lily asked absently, looking over at Rowan.  
  
"You and James, how'd it happen?" Rowan laughed, her friend could be so oblivious sometimes.  
  
"Well. he said that he was wrong in assuming I wanted him to leave me alone. and then things just," Lily shrugged, "progressed."  
  
"O-kay." Rowan didn't sound enlightened. But then again, Lily wasn't like Rowan, she didn't kiss and tell to her best friend. "Lily, I just want you to know I'm really glad you're dating-" the door to the dorm opened, revealing a few girls, "James." Rowan finished softly, looking at the gaggle that had gathered.  
  
Chapter 4: Romance and Rumors  
  
"Can we help you?" Lily asked, getting off the window seat. A couple of them started talking all at once. Two of the girls came in, and went to their respective beds; they were 7th year Gryffindor girls and they had right to be in the room. The other girls seemed to be comprised of 2 6th years, 3 5th years and a 4th year.  
  
"One at a time please." Lily called over the din.  
  
"Well, we saw you coming down the boys' staircase." A girl with thick blonde hair and natural highlights began, a gossipy tone to her voice. Lily remembered her name was Heather, and that she was a 6th year, and the ring leader of her little clique of friends. They were an annoying bunch, coming from all the houses except Slytherin, collecting gossip and spreading it. Lily didn't care for them. Lily could also recognize a small girl, another 6th year, named Rita Skeeter, who wasn't in Gryffindor, but in Ravenclaw. Obviously, she had been let into the tower.  
  
"What were you doing in the boys' dorms?" Rita, who was a small girl with dirty blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, and a pinched look about her. She was bossy, no doubt, judging from the sound of her voice. Lily thought grimly that she would make a good reporter one-day.  
  
"I was doing a room check of the 7th year boys' dorm." Lily sat on her bed and fished for a nail file in her bedside table.  
  
"Is it true that you use that as an excuse for going up there to make out with James Potter?" Rita pressed on.  
  
"No, its not. Until Ivery/I recently, James and I were just friends. I check their dorm because its my duty to, and its such a mess they wouldn't have clean clothes unless I forced them to clean." Lily was filing, perfecting her already perfect nails.  
  
"And what's your relationship with James? Did you have a fight earlier?" Rita's eyes flashed with excitement, and the girls around her murmured with assent. Lily's roommates rolled their eyes.  
  
"What is this? Twenty questions? I think its none of your business. And by the way, Miss Skeeter, it is a penalty of 30 house points to be caught in a house area not of your own. I suggest, unless you feel like losing a lot of house points for Ravenclaw, that you and your little friends leave immediately." Lily smiled sweetly at the girls. "Okay?"  
  
"I'll get my story, Evans, I always do." Rita sneered, turned on her heel and left the Gryffindor Tower, the other girls in tow.  
  
"Boy did you tell her!" Casey, one of Lily's roommates that had come in with the gaggle of girls earlier. "She's so bossy, I can't stand to hang around with Heather anymore, 'cause Rita is Ialways/I there. Its so annoying!" Casey pulled out some candy from her trunk and began munching away. She offered some to the rest of the girls in the dorm, who all declined. Before Rowan transferred to Hogwarts, there had only been three girls in Lily's dorm: Lily, Casey, and another girl, Sheila. The three of them got along fine, and when Rowan came, Lily began to drift from her roommates. They had been somewhat close during the school year, but Lily never really saw anyone over the summer. While Casey was rather hurt by Lily's absence, she knew that people change. And that something big changed in Lily, for when 7th year began, she was hanging out with the Marauders, the same boys Lily spent countless nights complaining to Casey and Sheila about, James in particular. And when they entered their room that night, they couldn't help but overhear Rowan saying something about Lily dating James.  
  
"Yeah, can't stand the girl." Sheila wrinkled her nose. She was a tall curvy girl, with straight, but short black hair and brown eyes. She was very beautiful, and had many guys just falling over her. Casey, Sheila's best friend, had wild curly blackish brown hair, and light blue eyes, and seemed to be the opposite of her friend. While Casey wasn't ugly, she didn't have the confidence that drew boys to Sheila. Casey was a shy girl, while Sheila was outgoing. Casey loved to read and learn, while Sheila relied on Casey to help her pass. But, as they say, opposites do attract.  
  
"I guess I should tell you, as you are my roommates and are bound to find out." Lily had a sly grin on her face as she sat on her bed. "You'll never guess what happened."  
  
"The sky caved in and you're dating James?" Casey asked innocently, also sitting on her bed.  
  
"How'd you know?!" Lily giggled, not unhappy at all that her news wasn't news anymore.  
  
"We heard Rowan as we were coming in." Sheila giggled, sitting herself on Casey's bed, next to Casey.  
  
"You two will be so cute together!" Sheila continued.  
  
"Yeah, now that he's not such an ass!" Casey added, her eyes twinkling with laughter. She too, along with other girls, noticed the change in James. Everyone figured it had something to do with Lily, since she and Rowan were hanging out with them a lot.  
  
"Probably the only reason why she's dating him!" Rowan grinned. One thing she really liked about Sheila and Casey, was that they had been very welcoming to her, and never looked down upon her for going to a less prestigious magical school. A few students, Slytherins in particular, had taken to thinking Rowan was stupid and less important because she had gone to a different school first, one especially set up for students with less than average magical abilities. You had to be very gifted with magic to get into Hogwarts, and Rowan just missed the cut. With her dedication and hard work, Rowan was able to become one of the most gifted students her school was able to educate, and they sent her to Hogwarts because they had no classes challenging enough for Rowan.  
  
There was a slight tapping noise coming from the window at regular intervals. The girls looked over, and saw tiny rocks bouncing off the pane.  
  
"What the.?" Lily got up and wandered over to the window. James had set off sparks, spelling a message in the darkening sky for her. She opened the latch on the window, and pushed the pane so it swung open. She shivered from the cold.  
  
II love you/I  
  
The type was written in bright red, a sharp contrast to the navy sky. It was a narrow print, tiny if it had been written on parchment, and also what Lily recognized as James' handwriting. How he had done it was beyond her, but it was breathtaking to see a fifty-foot message waiting in the sky for you. Lily knew that it was James that wrote it, not just because of the script, but because a pure white stag was on the ground, some 30 stories below. It was so bright, with the moonlight shining that Lily could spot the stag easily; the combination of moonlight and the absolute whiteness of the stag made it look surreal, and silvery white in color.  
  
"He's beautiful." Lily breathed, gazing at the stag below her. The stag pawed the ground nervously.  
  
"I love you!" Lily called out, on a whim before she thought twice about it. I 'Why did I just say that. I don't /I love Ihim. do I?'/I Lily immediately reprimanded herself. Though it did raise a good question: Did she actually love James?  
  
If stags could smile, this stag would have grinned. James the stag ran in a circle and leapt. It was obvious that he was ecstatic, as much as a stag could be. James the stag lowered his head, showing off his antlers, then speed off into the forest, at the drawn-out howl of a dog. All that was left was the red glittery message in the sky.  
  
"Uhh, Lily?" Rowan and the rest of Lily's roommates looked confused. They got up at joined Lily at the window. They saw the message and sighed collectively. It was just like James to write his long time love a sparkling "I love you" in the night sky.  
  
Before she could stop herself, Sheila asked the question forming in her mind. "Do you?"  
  
"What?" Lily asked, snapping out of her reverie.  
  
"Love him! Do you love him?" Sheila's eyes burned with excitement.  
  
"I- uh, well. I dunno." Lily blushed and cast her eyes to the floor. Sheila wasn't satisfied with the answer, but decided not to press the matter.  
  
~*~  
  
The next morning, Lily woke up with a headache. Not any old headache, but a migraine headache that caused tears to well up in her eyes. Lily shut her alarm off and shut her eyes tightly.  
  
I'I don't need this today.'/I Lily thought miserably. Sighing, she got up and fumbled for her wand and rummaged blindly in her trunk for a spell book. At last she found it: a book of first aid spells she picked up in her fourth year, thinking it could be useful. Lily flipped to a dog-eared page, and read it slowly, for it hurt her head extra to read, on top of the pounding headache she already had. Quickly, she cast the migraine relief spell. Instantly, the pain receded from her head and she could think clearly.  
  
"Morning, Lily!" Rowan greeted her brightly, coming into their dorm from the showers. "Another headache?" Rowan asked worriedly, seeing the book Lily had out, and noting the wand in Lily's hand.  
  
"Yeah." Lily put the book away, and got out her showering things.  
  
"That's the third one this week." Rowan pointed out. Soon after Lily's fear of dark places had gone away, the headaches started; terrible headaches that could last for hours, with no muggle remedy, like aspirin. And with each headache, after ten minutes the scars on her wrists would begin to throb. Lily wasn't too worried about it though, she never had been. And unlike what she promised James, she never told the headmaster.  
  
"Yeah, well, its been stressful." Lily shrugged. She took her towel and toiletries and went to take her shower, leaving Rowan to ponder in their room.  
  
~*~  
  
"Hey Lils." James came up to Lily as she arrived at the bottom of the stairs to the girls' dormitories an hour later, all clean and dressed, ready for the day.  
  
"Morning, James." Lily smiled shyly.  
  
"Ready for breakfast?" he asked, not quite sure what to do. While he was wildly happy about dating Lily, he didn't know how to act around her now. Last night she basically told him that she loved him, but who knows what the deal with that was. James certainly didn't. Also, James wasn't sure how to act around her in public, in private was easy, but public. that was a totally different story.  
  
"Yeah. Want to wait-?" Lily left off the end of her sentence, as it was unneeded. They both knew the answer anyway.  
  
"Nah." James grinned and the two of them walked to the portrait hole side by side, not touching. There were a few students in the common room, and those awake enough to care or notice, watched the pair curiously.  
  
"After you." James held it open for her. Lily giggled and crawled through, followed by James. The atmosphere became more relaxed now that they were alone.  
  
"So how was last night?" Lily asked, conversationally, as they made their way down to breakfast. She, too, was confused as to how to act around James. She spent years hating him, then a month or two as his friend, and now she was his girlfriend? Way too weird.  
  
"Good, good. We just roamed the forest." James smiled at the memory.  
  
"Is it true there are vampires in there? Some first year asked me, and I was like 'I don't know- I've never been in there'." Lily chattered, slipping her hand into his. James grinned, life was good.  
  
"No, there are no vampires in the forbidden forest. There are centaurs though." James added thoughtfully.  
  
"What are they like? They're such beautiful creatures." Lily sighed dreamily.  
  
"Very aloof. They didn't like the others at first, but they didn't mind me too much since I was a stag. I think we shocked them though, by turning into humans." James told her, and Lily giggled.  
  
"You see, we were in this clearing this one time, had to have been 5th year, and a few of them were watching us from the trees. We had lost track of time, and the moon began to wane and was setting. So Remus began to change back. Its not exactly pleasant, watching your friend convulse with pain like that. Once he loses the fangs, though, we're ok to change back too. So we did, and we heard this rustle from the clearing, I went to check it out, while Peter and Sirius watched over Remus. There were five of them, all watching us. They said to me 'Your friends are welcome, wizard, but do not bother us. Stay in animal form in the forest.' And then they just walked away. Nothing else." James finished his story as they came upon the last stair case to the entrance hall. It was a grand staircase, a wide, sweeping marble one, with detailed scrollwork on the large banisters. All students were forbidden to slide down the banisters, though Lily didn't think it had ever been tried.  
  
"That is so amazing." Lily commented as they descended the stairs. There were students milling about the hall, and no one really took notice of them. No one except Rita Skeeter.  
  
~*~  
  
"James! Did you check you game schedule yet?" Rick Karr, the Ravenclaw quidditch captain and fellow seeker, shouted to James from behind. Lily and James automatically dropped each other's hands, and turned around.  
  
"What?" James asked as the tall lanky quidditch captain trotted over.  
  
"Did you check the game calendar- you and Hufflepuff are up first, in two weeks." Rick grinned, pulling out an extra copy he had made of the Hogwarts quidditch game calendar. James hadn't gotten his yet, he suspected he would sometime during breakfast this morning.  
  
"May I?" James took the parchment and looked at it. He groaned loudly.  
  
"After this match, we don't play for a month! Wait a sec, these are scrimmages. Where's the game list?" James noted the title on the parchment.  
  
"It is? Oh, sorry mate. Here's the right one." Rick pulled out a second piece of parchment. Then, he looked curiously at Lily, who was waiting patiently for James. She was even peeking at the parchment schedule.  
  
"So, what's new with you, Lily?" Rick wasn't sure what to say. He thought he had seen them holding hands earlier, but this was Lily Evans, and she'd Inever/I hold hands with James; Rick was sure he had imagined it.  
  
"Nothing, just waiting for James to be done. Are you?" Lily poked James in the side.  
  
"Ahh! Yes, I'm done." James jumped when she poked him; Lily had hit the soft spot in his side. James handed the parchment back to Rick.  
  
"Want to hold our own scrimmage this weekend?" James asked Rick. "You know, to get in the swing of things."  
  
"Sure, I'll notify my team. You have a lot of newbees this year? I got half a team of them." Rick sounded a bit unhappy about it. "Not much to chose from, we'll be needing all the practice we can get."  
  
"Only two, which isn't so bad. One of them is excellent, the other is, well, decent." James grinned, and clapped Rick on the back. "Sunday, on the pitch at 3." Rick nodded and watched his fellow captain and Lily leave. James didn't have his arm around her waist, but did rest his hand on the small of her back. Maybe Rick had seen them holding hands, and hadn't imagined it. Rick shrugged and left the entrance hall.  
  
~*~  
  
Lily and James were halfway through breakfast when the Marauders and Rowan showed up.  
  
"There you two are." Rowan rolled her eyes and sat across from Lily, in James' old seat since James occupied her seat next to Lily. Sirius sat in his seat, which was now next to Rowan, rather than James. Remus poured a cup of coffee, then went to visit his girlfriend of two and a half years, Alannah, at the Hufflepuff table. Peter sat next to Sirius.  
  
"So what were you to up to so early this morning?" Sirius joked as he piled food on his plate.  
  
"Nothing. Ran into Rick Karr, and looked at the quidditch calendar." James answered.  
  
"Which was completely bor-Iing/I." Lily rolled her eyes. She didn't mind quidditch, but she thought it was a reckless, dangerous sport. She didn't particularly enjoy flying either.  
  
"You just don't understand quidditch." James laughed, putting his arm around her, leaning in close to her face. "Now if you'd let me give you some pointers."  
  
"I don't like flying. At all." Lily said for what felt like the millionth time.  
  
"If you'd let me-" "No." Lily giggled, James began tickling her with his other hand.  
  
"Please?" James used his puppy-dog face.  
  
"No!" Lily was fully laughing now, squirming to get away from James's tickling.  
  
"Stop it!" She managed between laughs.  
  
"Let me help you." James grinned.  
  
"Never!"  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No! James, please stop!" Lily was able to slip down the bench so that she was out of James' reach.  
  
"Lily, you need to eat your breakfast. Come over here." James grabbed her wrist and gently pulled.  
  
"Promise not to tickle me?" Lily asked, not moving.  
  
"Promise." James grinned as Lily scooted over next to him. He made a move to bring his arm closer to her.  
  
"Ah-ah- don't you even think about tickling me. You promised."  
  
"That I did." James sighed as placed his arm around her waist.  
  
"That better?"  
  
"Much." Lily nibbled on her second piece of toast. Sirius and Rowan were quietly talking and Peter looked more confused than usual. Remus came back and joined them, sitting on Lily's right.  
  
"Well, you two are the talk of the school. No one can decide if you're dating or not." Remus laughed as he helped himself to some oatmeal.  
  
"Oh really?" Lily asked, somewhat interest. She and James had their backs to the rest of the house tables, and couldn't see the pointing and staring. Lily shot a glance over her shoulder. Sure enough, several students were pointing their direction and many faces were turned their way. Lily just shrugged.  
  
"Yeah, first thing Alannah said to me, rather than 'Good morning' was 'Are James and Lily going out?'?" Remus shook his head and laughed.  
  
"That's sad, mate." James laughed along. At this point, the mail arrived. Lily tore open a letter addressed to her, which was puzzling her, as she didn't have any contacts through owl post besides her friends at school. The only other person to get mail was Sirius, who got three letters. He tore open the first one, and a photograph slipped out.  
  
"Hey, its my cousin Andromeda. She's my favorite cousin. Only one, sadly. She's got a kid now, 7, I think. Here they are." Sirius grinned as he picked up the photograph. It showed a smiling woman with Sirius's eyes and the same color of dark brown hair, and a young girl, whose hair kept changing color and her nose changing shape. They were grinning and waving to the camera, they looked like they were someplace warm, judging from the island backdrop.  
  
"They just got back from vacation." Sirius' smile reached his eyes, lighting them up in a way no one really saw before. Obviously, these people were the only family that he liked, and meant anything to him. Sirius was usually very closed mouthed about his family. Sirius continued to open his letters.  
  
"When will the idiot learn?" Sirius spat at the parchment he held in his hands. He took out a quill and scribbled on the back of it: I Stand up to them, or face the consequences./I  
  
"Stupid git." And owl that had been circling above them landed as Sirius motioned for it. Sirius folded the parchment, and gave it to the bird.  
  
James looked questioningly at Sirius.  
  
"Regulus." Sirius said disgustedly. James and Remus nodded, they knew who he was. Lily and Rowan, on the other hand, were just like Peter: completely confused.  
  
"Wh-" James motioned for Lily to be quiet as Sirius tore open the last of his letters.  
  
"Miserable old bat!" Sirius tore this letter to pieces. "Why won't she just die already? She'll hang on just to spite me." Sirius growled, now in a full-fledged awful, horrible mood.  
  
"I'll see you in class if I feel like it." Sirius stormed out of the hall, presumably up to the Gryffindor Tower.  
  
"James-" Lily began, worriedly. She started to stand.  
  
"Lily, let him be." James tugged on her arm to sit down. "Why don't you open your letter?" James held up Lily's forgotten letter.  
  
"Ah yes, the mystery letter." Lily giggled and opened it. She scanned the note once, then again to make certain of what it said. She dropped the letter and looked at James, her eyes filled with fright.  
  
"Open your mind, and the headaches will stop?" James read aloud the cryptic message.  
  
"James." Lily sounded scared beyond her wits. Rowan looked pale too.  
  
"Why don't we take a walk." James gently pulled Lily to her feet. Right now, Lily was willing to do anything, as long as she didn't leave James. He gave her a sense of protection, and that's exactly what she needed now.  
  
~*~  
  
James led Lily into the courtyard, where they could talk in peace, and could get a breath of fresh air. Lily looked like she needed it, she was very pale and frightened. They sat on a stone bench, facing a fountain.  
  
"Tell me about this." James held the note Lily received.  
  
"I, well, after the dark thing went away, the headaches started." Lily cast her eyes to the ground, absently rubbing her wrists, her scars were sore again. James noticed her habit for what must have been the first time.  
  
"What's wrong with your wrists?" James took one of Lily's hands, flipping it over so he could see her scar. It was bright red, unlike he had ever seen it before.  
  
"They hurt sometimes." Lily tried to take her hand back, but James kept his grip firm but gentle.  
  
"Lily, does the headmaster know of this?" James asked, afraid that he already knew the answer.  
  
"No. I didn't tell him about the cold either." Lily cast her eyes to her wrist, which James still held. The stinging of her scar was getting worse.  
  
"Lily." James shut his eyes, sighed, then opened them again. "You are going to tell him right now. This is important. You have no idea."  
  
"No, James, you're just making a big deal out of nothing. Nothing, I say! I don't need to tell anyone." Lily wrenched her hand from his grip.  
  
"Lily-"  
  
"No James, I can't. I can't." Lily looked away from him, towards the forest.  
  
"Why not?" James asked.  
  
"Because he'll think I'm stupid. And its nothing." Lily softened her voice, sounding as if she was trying to convince herself. In all honesty, Lily was scared beyond belief. She knew something was wrong, but didn't want to admit it.  
  
"It won't go away if you ignore it. Does it make any difference if I go with you?" James raised a hand and brushed a curl that had fallen in front of Lily's face. It seemed to do that a lot.  
  
"Yes. But James, do we have to?" Lily made herself look into James' eyes. His concern and love for her were plainly written on his face. His eyes showed such compassion that Lily thought she might cry. I'He really loves me, and I don't deserve it.'/I  
  
"Yes, it could be something dangerous. Do you know what the other part was about?" James glanced at the note again.  
  
"Its Occlumency. I studied it summer before last, perfected it." Lily's lip quivered. What did somebody want with her mind?  
  
"We definitely need to tell the headmaster." James paled slightly. It was more serious than he thought. He wondered what else was going on with her that he didn't know.  
  
"Lily, I need to know- is there anything else that you're not telling me about this?" James gazed into Lily's infinite green eyes.  
  
"No, there's nothing. Except my wrists hurt sometimes even when I don't have a headache. Like now." Lily smiled weakly and held out her wrists. Both scars were bright red, and looked freshly healed, rather than the usual light pink, that was still fading with time from Lily's skin. A tear slipped down her cheek, Lily couldn't help it.  
  
"Shh, it will be ok." James hugged Lily, rocking her slightly, as more tears poured out. When all her tears were gone, she let go of James.  
  
"Thank you." She whispered, drying her face.  
  
"It was nothing." James kissed the tip of her nose, making Lily smile slightly.  
  
"Anything else?" James asked, putting his arm around her, and she laid her head on his shoulder. It felt good for her to be in his arms, both of them thought.  
  
"Who is Regulus? And what made Sirius so upset?" Lily looked up at James, who sighed.  
  
"You know how Sirius is now staying at my house?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Well, Sirius's mother was never the nurturing type. She always prided Regulus, Sirius's younger brother over Sirius. Regulus is in 6th year, Slytherin. Just like the rest of the Blacks, Bellatrix, Narcissa, the whole lot of them. The only good ones are kicked out of the family. Sirius chose to run away, and was then officially kicked out. He didn't mind a whole lot, except his idiot of a brother, and trust me, he really is, keeps begging Sirius to come home. Regulus, I think, always looked up to Sirius, but knew he could never stand up to their parents like Sirius did. Regulus is a lot like Peter, looking up to others, not really knowing what he's getting himself into. Sirius, well, he got fed up with his brother. Whenever Regulus sends an owl, Sirius always writes the same reply: to stand up to them before its too late." James paused, allowing Lily to let all this information to sink in.  
  
"He has a brother?" Lily sounded surprised. She knew there were other Blacks in the school, but she never knew Sirius had a brother.  
  
"If you ever meet him, he'll claim cousin kinship. Same with Sirius. Regulus is forced by his parents, Sirius because he doesn't think the term brother applies to Regulus." James answered.  
  
"Poor Sirius." Lily murmured. She felt incredibly sorry for him.  
  
"And as for what made him upset, his mother is dying, very slowly. She is confined to bed rest, but Sirius is sure that she'll never go peacefully. And he's sure she's holding out as long as she can, just to spite him, and to one day ruin his life. He must have received a letter from or about her. I don't know why he still reads them, they're full of slams against my family, his favorite cousins, also removed from the family. Anything that might matter to Sirius is put to shame in those letters. Its really bad." James sighed.  
  
"That's horrible." Lily's problems didn't seem quite so bad wen compared to Sirius's. Granted her sister thought she was worse than pond scum, but her father loved her dearly, and once, her mother had too. And also, Lily had James. Sirius had no one. Well, Rowan, if he'd let her, but Sirius wasn't the type to date. And knowing his past and his family, if he dated Rowan things would turn ugly for the both of them. Lily wondered if Rowan knew about his family. She and Sirius were always talking quietly whenever they could, so she very well might.  
  
"That's the bell." James stood and pulled Lily to her feet. Come on, to the headmaster's office." Lily paled at the thought.  
  
"Its not so bad, come on." James put his arm around her, and the two of them made their way into the school.  
  
~*~  
  
"Miss, Sir? The headmaster is ready to see you." A house-elf in a tea towel, draped like a toga and bearing the Hogwarts crest, bowed them through the door to Albus Dumbledore's office. The set up of his office was strange, and Lily suspected the headmaster had his own wing. They had met the house-elf in the stone foyer after giving the password to the stone griffin that guarded the passageway in. Then, the house elf took them up a spiraling staircase and the house elf went into the office and spoke of their arrival. Lily and James were showed in, and the headmaster of Hogwarts motioned for them to sit down.  
  
"Miss Evans, Mr. Potter. You wanted to see me?" Albus Dumbledore had twinkling blue eyes, hidden behind half moon spectacles. Lily briefly wondered how old he was, for his long hair and beard were silvery white, and both were long enough to tuck into his belt.  
  
"Yes, sir. Lily has been having some problems, see, since her attack." James took the plunge and drove right in. The headmaster surveyed the two teenagers. It was obvious that Lily had been informed that her 'accident' after the last term of her 5th year was really an attack. He watched Lily for a moment, taking in her pale face, which was swiftly gaining a dark blush. She was looking at her hands, rubbing her wrists now and then.  
  
"What sort of problems?" Dumbledore smiled kindly at Lily as she looked up to speak.  
  
"Well, right after my accident, I was having problems being in dark places. I would get sick. But after awhile, I would just get cold, not sick. And then the headaches began, and my wrists started hurting." Lily held out her wrist, showing the unnaturally bright red of the scar. Dumbledore took her wrist and examined it. Lily flinched when he touched her.  
  
"Anything else?" Dumbledore looked up and released Lily's hand. She quickly returned it to her lap and looked intently at the floor.  
  
"Lily received a note this morning." James produced the note from his pocket, when it became obvious Lily wasn't going to say anything more.  
  
"Do you know what this means?" Dumbledore asked Lily kindly.  
  
"I studied Occlumency summer before last, and got really good at it. I- we think that is what they mean." Lily's voice was a shadow of its usual self.  
  
"I see. Thank you for telling me. I'll see what I can do. And these headaches, have you ever been to the nurse about them?"  
  
"No, I have a relief spell that I use, its faster than Madame's potions." Lily wouldn't raise her eyes from the floor. James reached over and squeezed her hand. She looked into his eyes, and felt reassured.  
  
"Very well. You two may go now, as you both are quite late. Here is a pass to get into your class. Are you two going to the same place?" Dumbledore pulled out some parchment from his desk drawer. He picked up his quill and dipped it into the inkwell on his desk. He poised his hand above the parchment.  
  
"Yes, sir." James nodded, looking over to the headmaster.  
  
"Good." Dumbledore grinned and wrote them a note to get into class. "In late November, we will meet to talk about Unity Week." He handed the pass to James, who took it with his free hand.  
  
"Ready to go?" James asked Lily softly. Lily nodded and the two stood up.  
  
"Thank you for meeting with us, Headmaster." James thanked him.  
  
"And thank you for notifying me. We need to keep an eye on this. Lily, don't hesitate to stop by any time." Dumbledore smiled kindly, forgoing formality. Lily looked up from the floor to see her educator's paternal gaze.  
  
"I will." Lily nodded briefly and exited with James.  
  
"Now that wasn't so bad, was it?" James dropped Lily's hand, and wrapped his arm around her. Lily leaned into him, feeling particularly comfortable and content. It felt, to Lily, as if a huge load had been taken off her chest; there was nothing to worry about now.  
  
Chapter 5: Learning to Love  
  
BLily's POV/BI I don't know how I feel about James, really, though everyone keeps asking me, over and over and over. I'm just human, I can change my mind, can't I? Every few moments, its "Lily, is it true you're going out with James?" or "Lily- what happened? I thought you Ihated/I James!" or even "I can't believe you took James!" It gets annoying, really. But through it all, James has been good to me. Granted its only been a week, but he treats me like a princess, and a friend at the same time.  
  
I have to say, deciding to date James was one of my better decisions. He's caring, sweet, and an excellent kisser. I didn't know what I was missing out on, but now I'm really happy. There's never a dull moment with James, even when we're just siting around, talking.  
  
I still think back to the night when he asked me out, and the note he wrote in the sky. 'I love you'- does he mean it? I mean, how does one know that you're in love? I'm certainly too young to know, no matter what I may have shouted to him from my dorm window. This feeling is totally new; could it be love? O, how to describe this feeling! Its like, well, love, now that I think of it. I am always thinking of him, and want to be around him. I want to feel his arms around me, the warmth of his body. I never want our kisses to end, I never want to leave him. Is it love? I am too young, that cannot possibly be love. But it could be the beginning of something grand. Yes, the beginning.  
  
I always want to laugh when I think back upon this year, especially when it comes to James. We made a deal to not annoy each other, and look where we ended up! Dating, completely happy. I know James is happy for I see the way his eyes light up when he sees me. I see the way he is extra gentle, as if he's afraid he'll break me. I see the way he has stopped bragging to his friends, how he has become more mature, and yet at the same time, being his goofy self. I can't help but, well, love him. He's become everything to me. I definitely didn't know what I missing.  
  
I don't think, if I had the chance, that I would change the way I did things in the past. I think everything happens for a reason, why else w/I  
  
I looked up at the sound of footsteps drawing near. I snapped my journal shut, and quickly stowed it away, in its hidden compartment in the headboard on my bed. No one need know that I have a journal. The door to my dorm was thrown open. A black, hooded figure stood there. How did they get past the portrait? Or the full common room?  
  
"Evans, open you mind to us, we will not hurt you." The black figure sounded a lot like Sirius. But it couldn't be him, I just saw him and James go off not five minutes ago to the kitchens for food. They couldn't be back this fast, even if they ran. I stood up, backing up against my widow. I hate heights, but I'm not afraid.  
  
"Wh-What do you want?" My voice shook. Damn, I'm a good actress. I'm not scared. I have my wand in my pocket, I can defend myself. I'll be fine. I think.  
  
"Just your mind." The figure took a step into the room and shut the door, locking it. He continued slowly moving towards me.  
  
"How did you get up the stairs? Or past the common room?" I asked, my voice sounding pathetic. I was trying to stall him, so I could think of something.  
  
"I came through another dorm. There are passageways, you know." I couldn't shake the fact it sounded like Sirius.  
  
"Sirius, this isn't funny." I dropped the scared act. It had to be him. Some idiotic practical joke, like always. Besides, who besides the Marauders knew of those stupid passageways? The figure stopped dead in his tracks. Must be him.  
  
"Don't call be by his name!" The figure hissed at me, clearly agitated. I had enough. I took two long stride and ripped that dumb mask off his face, letting it fall to the floor.  
  
Well, it wasn't Sirius, that was for sure. But it did look a lot like him, like a brother would. A brother.  
  
"Regulus Black?" I took a step back, slightly scared, slightly surprised. What did he want with me?  
  
"So you know my name." He sneered at me. Though he and Sirius had the same eyes, Regulus's eyes lacked the warmth Sirius's had. His hood had fallen back, revealing greasy hair. His face was slightly slimmer than Sirius's, and he had a hollow look to him. The family resemblance was definitely there, though, no doubt about it.  
  
"So has Sirius tell you we were brothers? Or has your Iboyfriend/I James tell you that?" Regulus had a nasty look on his face, and an equally nasty tone in his voice to match it.  
  
"J-James did." I was getting a tiny bit scared now, I fingered my wand in my pocket. I started to feel cold, and rather sick too- the old feeling that used to come with being in the dark. I steeled myself against it, the was I forced myself to learn.  
  
"Did he tell you that Sirius is no longer part of my family?" The tone in his voice got harder, and I took another step back.  
  
"Look, I don't know why you're here, or what you want, but Regulus Black, it is a house offense of fifty points to threaten a student, not to mention grounds of expulsion. And another thirty points to be in a house area not of your own. Leave now." I couldn't stand it, I had to do something. Pulling rank might help- or maybe not.  
  
"I want your mind Lily, just like I want you. All for my very own. But the Dark Lord's needs come first. He wants you to fight with him." Regulus adopted an oily tone in his voice, and came closer to me. I just backed away. Something was seriously wrong with him.  
  
"Don't be afraid, Lily, we won't hurt you- much." Regulus's smile was scaring me. I could find nothing in him that remotely reminded me of Sirius now. Ok, Lily, think fast. Get out of there. I drew my wand and fired a curse at him, I don't think he was prepared for that, but he did get out of the way. The curse blew a hole in the tapestry, and stone wall beneath.  
  
"Now, now, Lily, that's not nice." He drew his wand, but I fired first, hitting him in the chest with the full-body bind. I let out my pent up breath; I didn't know I was holding it. There was a clatter outside my door.  
  
"Why is this door LOCKED?!" I could hear James's voice. I forgot that the Head Boy was allowed up the girl's staircase. The doors are protected against I'Alohomora'/I, so I went over and unlocked it. I opened the door and threw myself into James. I started crying, I couldn't help it. James wrapped his arms around me, holding me. That's when I knew I loved him. He was the only person I wanted to hold me, to console me. I wanted him to hold me forever and ever, and to spend my life with him. I knew he would have battled Regulus for me, the way he was whispering to me. I couldn't understand a thing of what he was saying, the full-force of what could have happened in there was truly hitting me. I could only cry harder, and hold James tighter. I loved James, and James loved me; that was all that mattered right then.  
  
~*~  
  
BJames's POV/B I could have killed the bastard. I wanted to, at least. I told Rowan, who came up with me to find out what the hell happened, to fetch a teacher, or, preferably, the headmaster. I looked down at the sobbing form in my arms. I held Lily closer, and could feel her tears wetting my shirt. My rage grew, but I had to control it. Now was not the time to get angry, not when Lily needed me. I told her silly things, whispering to her that everything would be all right, and that I wouldn't be going anywhere. I don't think she was listening though, but I don't blame her. She just went through a lot.  
  
I couldn't describe, even if I wanted to, the anger I felt at Regulus. Seeing him on the floor, dressed completely in black, a black mask on the floor next to him; I knew what side he was now on.  
  
I smoothed Lily's hair, and looked down at her. She looked so vulnerable, so. protectable. I never wanted to be out of her presence for a moment, never again. Anything can happen in five minutes, anything. Next time, I'll be there when someone comes for her.  
  
"James, Lily, what happened?" Professor Dumbledore's voice echoed in my thoughts. I let go of Lily, and she looked into my eyes for the first time since she opened the door. There was something different in the way she was looking at me. Something positive, though.  
  
"A-a intruder in my room. Threatened me. Dark Lord." Lily swayed, and I caught her around the waist, steadying her. She looked up at me gratefully, and with that other thing still there.  
  
"I see. I will escort her out. Is she not of Gryffindor?" The headmaster took on the quiet, kind voice he had used not a week ago, when Lily and I had our meeting with him.  
  
"He. He's of Slytherin." Lily corrected. She sighed deeply and laid her head on my shoulder.  
  
"Yes, I see." Dumbledore walked into Lily's room, but Lily and I remained in the hallway.  
  
"Are you alright?" I asked her quietly.  
  
"I will be. Don't leave me." Lily hugged me, giving me the impression she never wanted to let go.  
  
"I will never leave you. Not if you want me around." I was always treading on thin ice with Lily; I was holding back all the time- I didn't want her to change her mind about dating me. Don't get me wrong, I don't think it will last forever; I just want it to last for as long as possible.  
  
"I never want you to leave again. Never." She said it so softly, I could barely hear it; but hear it I did. I couldn't help it, I grinned, hugging her more closely. The headmaster poked his head out the door.  
  
"I'm going to set up a port-key to my office, if Lily is feeling up to it, I would like her presence. And James, this incident is to go no further than you, Lily, and me. I will deal with both Misters Black."  
  
"Headmaster, please, could Lily possibly see you tomorrow?" I asked, feeling her cling tighter to me.  
  
"Yes, yes of course. Ten am, sharp, if you please." Dumbledore smiled, nodded his head and closed the door. I could hear the rushing of wind as the port-key swept the two away, into a different part of the castle. Good thinking of Dumbledore to not drag Regulus down through the full common room, and out the portrait.  
  
Just thinking of that scoundrel made me want to strangle him. I pushed him out of my mind, and turned my attention to Lily, who was trembling slightly.  
  
"Shh, it will be ok." I brushed away a tear that was falling down her cheek. She caught my hand and rested it on the side of her face. She had never done this before, never prolonged my touching. She always responded, and seemed happy enough, but something was missing. Well, not anymore. Whatever that was missing before was certainly here now.  
  
"Lily." I breathed, kissing her forehead. I wasn't much taller than her, but just 6 or 7 inches. But height didn't matter, I would love her even if she was 20 feet tall. She was my Lily. My Lily, yes, finally mine.  
  
~*~  
  
Chapter 6: Outsider's view.  
  
BSirius's POV/B I could have killed the bastard. He isn't my brother, just unfortunately by blood. Threatening Lily like that, did he have some sort of death wish? I'm surprised Prongs didn't tear into him, but then again, Lily was right there.  
  
Lily.  
  
She's been the center of James's life ever since he got into girls. Sure, he'd date another girl or two, but nothing longer than a few days; Lily was always at the back of his mind. He was like me then, just dating around. A 'serial dater' as Rowan would put it.  
  
Rowan.  
  
The center of my life now. Funny how things turn out, isn't it. Me, the one who swore never to fall in love, not to marry, is right here daydreaming on my bed, thinking of a girl. Rowan. She's a sweet girl, I'm lucky to have her. I know this- but I can't let anyone else know. Or else my dear mother would make her life hell. I couldn't let that happen. Knowing dear old mum, she wouldn't approve of Rowe. No, she'd tell me that I was tarnishing the family name and go on and on and on. I hate that bitch, I wish she would just die.  
  
Rowan.  
  
She is the center of my life. Just like James put Lily at the center of his. Something definitely happened to Lily when she was in that room with Regulus; I can see it now. She's constantly touching James, holding hands, playing with his hair, anything. They're just always touching. It makes me jealous, I wish I could have that sort of relationship with Rowe. I can't allow it, and Rowe knows why. I told her everything, about my family and all. And the best thing is, she doesn't care. But, I care too much to do something like that to her. But I think she knows that things will be different after Hogwarts, better. If she could just wait.  
  
"Padfoot? What are you doing?" James came into the room. His shirt was wet in spots.  
  
"Lily been crying?" I motioned to his shirt. She does that a lot, Lily does. It gets kind of annoying.  
  
"Nah, she threw a water balloon at me, which missed but I still got wet." James grinned.  
  
"What's a water bawoon?" I asked, they could be an excellent prank item, if they landed on target.  
  
"Balloon. Its this rubber sack that is filled with water. Lily says that you can fill the balloon with air too. But who would want to do that?" James laughed and changed his shirt. He tossed a balloon over to me.  
  
"So if she missed you, who did she hit?" I was examining the balloon. Our door swung open.  
  
"Remus." James grinned as a sopping Remus entered out dorm.  
  
"James, tell that girlfriend of yours to get some better aim." Remus growled. I could tell he wasn't really angry, just pretending.  
  
"I thought it was funny though!" James laughed, clapping Remus on the back.  
  
"You might. What's up with the two of you lately, you seem, well, different." Remus asked, stripping of his wet shirt.  
  
"Don't laugh mate, but its love. She told me last night, she Iloves/I me." James gloated, running a hand through his hair like he used to. That used to annoy Lily so much.  
  
"And isn't that just peachy? You love her, she loves you. When are the kids expected?" I grinned. I was happy for him, they were perfect for each other. I was still jealous though. Rowe never told me she loved me. Then again mate, you never told her that either. And you're not dating her in public.  
  
"Haha. Not for a long time." James put his wet shirt into the hamper. Lily made sure we had one, so the house elves would at least do our laundry. Lily did a lot of things like that for us, she acted like she was our mother sometimes, honestly. Well, at least how a mother should act.  
  
"Nine months can be a long time." Remus grinned wolfishly. He checked to make sure he was dry, then put on a dry shirt.  
  
"Whatever. You have to do something else before you can have kids, which we Ihaven't/I." James rolled his eyes, his hand on the door.  
  
"Poor Jamesie! Hasn't gotten laid yet!" I laughed, James shook his head and Remus chuckled.  
  
"I'm coming with you, mate. Going to go see Rowan." I stood up and stretched, then grabbed my wand, which I put in my pocket.  
  
"She's in her dorm. And what's with you and her? You two have been spending an awful lot of time with her." James asked, eyeing me. I shrugged, then transformed into my animagus. I welcomed the pain that washed over me. The crunching of my bones as they reformed themselves, the prickling of fur as my pelt came in. I looked up at James, ready to go. My thoughts weren't as complex as a dog, but I could still understand what was being said around me.  
  
"Fine, don't answer me." James laughed and opened the door for me. I bounded down the stairs, enjoying the speed and agility I had as a dog. The feeling of being human was leaving as I rounded up the girls' stairs. It was nice that animals were allowed anywhere in the Gryffindor Tower, otherwise I'd have more trouble getting up there. I ran up the stairs and paused at her door. I scratched at it with a paw. The door opened to reveal Rowe, and she was alone.  
  
"Sirius?" Rowan smiled and let me in. I transformed back into human form, willing the change to go faster. My wand was next to me. It had been my collar when I was a dog.  
  
~*~  
  
BRemus's POV/B  
  
Well, James and Lily have been together for a week now, and that's certainly a change. Not as much as when she first started hanging out with us, but change enough. And something more is going on with Rowan than what Sirius says. So it looks like everyone has found someone else. Except me.  
  
I sighed, I couldn't help it. James had Lily, Sirius had Rowan, even if he wouldn't admit it, and Peter was never around anymore. He was always missing whenever we had free time. Things change, I guess, people change.  
  
It does hurt, growing out of your friends, if that is what is really happening. I knew this time would come, when the Marauders would have other things to do than to design pranks and joke items, things other than plan our monthly adventures. The werewolf is alone, yet again. That was how I spent most of my childhood, that is, after I was bitten. Word got around the neighborhood, not a single witch would let her children play with me, and the children were scared of me anyway. Even the muggles sensed something was wrong. So I turned to my books, I had been sure I'd never go to Hogwarts; I needed to survive in the muggle world, except during the full moon, when I had to hide myself.  
  
Three years after I was bitten, my parents bought a farm. Best thing they did for me, really. I had the animals to keep me company, and a forest to hide myself in wolf form. And then when the letter from Hogwarts came, well that was a miracle in itself. My parents couldn't believe it, they figured that the headmaster would never allow a werewolf in, so they sent the letter back. Hardest thing I ever had to watch, seeing my parents send the letter back with a note explaining my 'condition' as they liked to refer to it. Then Dumbledore himself showed up the next day, and he persuaded my parents to let me go, and told them that 'appropriate measures' would be taken to ensure everyone's safety. I knew that Dumbledore was a great man, he let me into Hogwarts when no other headmaster would have. I am eternally in his debt.  
  
And still, once a month, I use his trust against him. Once a month my friends change, illegally, into animagi, and we leave the Shrieking Shack, something I swore to Dumbledore that I would never do. Every month I break my word and the four of us go gallivanting in the forest. Some head boy James is, encouraging the four of us to break out the shrieking shack. Some prefect I was, putting myself and others in danger. I feel guilty after every adventure, but when it comes to planning next month's, I am excited as the rest of them. I guess some things don't change.  
  
I sighed and sat on my bed. I had occupied this bed for 7 years. The happiest years of my life were spent in this castle, the happiest moments in this room, and the happiest nights, spent talking with my friends, my only true friends, from this bed. I was going to miss Hogwarts, it was too good to last. I'm not sure what I'll do after Hogwarts, werewolves don't get hired very often. Dumbledore said something about helping me get a job. And so it comes down to this: I owe Dumbledore everything I have. I will do anything for him, simply to repay what is owed. He is a great man, I don't see how he does it all. I can tell he has a lot on his mind, especially lately. He hasn't been sharp with anyone, its just something in his manner. He is hiding something.  
  
The door opened, and in walked Sirius, as a dog. I could tell he was happy; he had that satisfied grin that dogs have. He changed back, and went to sit on his own bed.  
  
"Have fun with Rowan?" I smirked; he had some of her lipstick still on him. I handed him a tissue. He took it, going red.  
  
"Yeah." Sirius wiped the lipstick off. He threw the tissue in the trash.  
  
"So you going to date her?" I asked, leaning back on my bed.  
  
"Can't." Came the short reply.  
  
"Why not? Your mum couldn't possibly know."  
  
"You forget, I have cousins, and one sorry excuse for a brother who would tell her immediately." Sirius sounded slightly angry.  
  
"I forgot, mate. Sorry. Well, at least you have her in private, no?" I tried to cover my error. Sirius doesn't talk a lot about his family, I sometimes forget he even has one. Then again, I don't blame him, he does have it pretty bad at home. Well, its not even home for him anymore. He's now living at the Potters.  
  
"Yeah, I have her in private." Sirius's laugh was much like a bark, he does have several dog like qualities, especially after changing back.  
  
"Then that's not as bad as not having her period. Besides, there's always after Hogwarts." I grinned.  
  
"You know what? We need to find you a girl. James has finally got his, I sort of have one, Peter must have one, or I really don't know where he is spending all his time, so we need to get you a girl, mate." Sirius grinned at me.  
  
"Oh come on, really. What girl wants to date a werewolf?" I propped myself up on my elbows, looking pointedly at Sirius. He really didn't think some times.  
  
"You don't have to tell her right away." Sirius seemed to get excited at the prospect of finding me a girlfriend. In all honesty, I wouldn't mind having a girlfriend, its just after Alannah and I broke up, which wasn't more than a week ago, I really don't feel like dating anyone. I guess getting dumped has that effect on you.  
  
"Look, its real nice that you have taken such an interest in my love life, but I don't share that same interest." I told him point blank.  
  
"Come on, Alannah wouldn't let you get within two feet of her. You need a girl that is all up for fun, as well, as whatever you want in a girl. I guess that would be brains, right?" Sirius pretended to scratch his head like he was stupid.  
  
"Of course I want a girl with something upstairs besides dead flies and bits of fluff! But I don't want to be-" I was cut off by the door bursting open and James trotting in.  
  
"James, tell this lunatic that you don't have to date to be happy." I turned to James for support.  
  
"Hey, I think dating is just wonderful. And whatever happened to whats-her- name, Alannah? The one who was stand-offish?" James let himself fall unto his bed.  
  
"She broke up with me last week, but you were too wrapped up in the novelty of dating Lily to notice Snape making fun of you, let alone my girlfriend dumping me." I said sarcastically.  
  
"Oh, sorry mate." James went all red. "Wait, Snape was making fun of me?!" James asked not a moment later.  
  
"Yeah, he was." Sirius snickered.  
  
"And you didn't tell me?" James was truly surprised.  
  
"You wouldn't have noticed anyway. Like Remus said, you were absorbed with Lily. Still are, in fact. Don't blame you though. She's, well, I'll stop there." Sirius hastily cut himself off when James turned a mad eye towards him.  
  
"Yeah, so anyway," Sirius began again, "we need to find Remus a girl. One that won't mind having fun." Sirius grinned and he and James guffawed loudly. I rolled my eyes, I didn't find most dirty jokes funny. Once in awhile Sirius would come up with some that would have us all in stitches though.  
  
"Hmmm, but what girl?" James laid back on his bed, thinking. Right now, I felt like they were planning my fate. It wasn't a pleasant feeling.  
  
"Look, I'm fine the way I am-" I began, but Sirius cut me off, snapping his fingers.  
  
"Sheila, you know, in Rowan's dorm? Nice girl, not stand-offish if you catch my drift." Sirius winked at me.  
  
"Oh gosh no. I don't think she could tell the difference between her wand and her elbow!" James laughed, but the remark didn't sound like him, in fact, it sounded like Lily. One sign of them spending way too much time together: they start sounding alike.  
  
"You're right." Sirius resumed thinking.  
  
"Casey? You know, their roommate. Nice, quiet, I'm sure you could make her warm up to you." Sirius grinned, and he and James laughed again. They will never grow up.  
  
"She's a nice girl, but I don't know her. How can I date someone I don't know?" I pointed out. Sometimes, they can get really thick. Thicker than usual.  
  
"Get to know her. Simple as that. Besides, you've gone to school with this girl for 7 years, I'm sure you know her enough to ask her to go to Hogsmeade with you." James sounded nonchalant, like he'd done it a million times, which I can most definitely say he didn't.  
  
"Oh that's easy for you to say. You've had Lily's attention from day one, even if it was because she hated you." I talked over James' protests.  
  
"You two are brainy, set up a study session. I don't know, anything." James shrugged.  
  
"Yeah, well, I don't know." I replied. There was a bit of an awkward silence, then the bell signaling dinner rang. The three of us started down to the Great Hall without further comment.  
  
~*~  
  
BPeter's POV/B  
  
I hate going to meetings during the school year. I really hate it. James and Sirius are bound to catch me, and well, I don't even want to think of what they would do to me if I was caught. A death eater, honesty, what was I thinking? I'm not cut out for this.  
  
"Wormtail. How nice of you to come." My master's voice is high and cold. I met him at our temporary headquarters, the Malfoy household for now. We will be using the old Riddle House soon enough, once some arrangements are made. So far, it looks like I was the only one summoned, which confuses me. I am but a lowly servant to him, not one of his inner circle. Even at my initiation there were others being initiated too.  
  
"Y-yes, my lord." I quake in his presence as he turns to face me. He has pale skin, dark hair and dark eyes, with a hint of red to them. He looks powerful, and is. Voldemort is the most powerful wizard in the world, no doubt about it. I chose the side with power, better to serve him than be slaughtered.  
  
"I heard that you were having trouble with your mission. What is it?" Master has a kind tone to his voice, which sets me at ease, and at the same time, puts up my guard.  
  
"My-my friends, m'lord. I think they suspect something. I am gone too long and they have noticed. I don't know what to tell them." I feel stupid, I can't even think of a decent alibi. Just yesterday Sirius asked 'who the girl' was.  
  
"A girl, would your friends think?" The dark lord looks strange smiling, especially when I've never seen him smile before. Why is he taking such a liking to me? I don't know if it's a good thing.  
  
"Y-yes, m'lord. Just yesterday-" My master held up his hand to stop me, I fell silent at once.  
  
"I know, Wormtail. You forget, I am skilled at Occlumency." Yes, I forgot, like always. Master can read my mind at any moment. Now I feel really stupid.  
  
"Yes, I can. And Wormtail, you are one of my Death Eaters, I must take care of you all. I can provide a girl for you, even one your age and in your school. I think Bella will do. Bellatrix Black, is her full name. I assume you know her." Voldemort smiled again.  
  
"Bella?" I gulped. She was Sirius's cousin, and he HATED her. "H-her?"  
  
"Yes, Bella Black. Unless, of course, you have a better idea." I had none.  
  
"M'lord, not to be ungrateful, not at all, but Bella Black is not friendly with my friends. Most assuredly they would hurt me, and figure out my bluff. I wouldn't be able to do my assignment." I looked at the door, briefly wondering when I could leave, get back to Hogwarts before someone found I was missing.  
  
"Oh yes, yes. Bella will not do. It slips my mind, you're in IGryffindor/I house. Though how you came to be there, is quite a mystery. You clearly belong to Slytherin." Voldemort paced the study we were in. In answer to Voldemort's question, it was simply because I asked to be in Gryffindor, because I knew my friends would be in there. Sirius was already sitting at the Gryffindor table when I was sorted, along with Remus. James had no doubt he'd get into Gryffindor, and well, I wanted in too. So I begged the hat, and it gave in. And look where wanting to be with my friends got me: slowly betraying them.  
  
"But as for your alibi, I have another student in mind, that I would like for you to recruit. Lesley Baker is a 6th year Hufflepuff, a prefect. She could be a nice addition to my ranks, as Lily Evans will be. Yes, I shouldn't have sent the Black boy on that assignment. IExpelled./I" Voldemort seemed to get angry for a moment, then I was sure I had imagined it.  
  
"Wormtail, you have a new assignment, in addition to your previous one, information on Hogwarts wasn't it? Well now, you must also recruit Lesley Baker. A nice addition indeed." The dark lord handed me a vial and a picture of the girl, then sat behind the desk in the center of the room. Even sitting down, Voldemort was an imposing figure.  
  
"Don't threaten the girl, but gently persuade her to meet with me. This is an enchantment potion if you have trouble; three drops will make her do your bidding. Make sure she meets with me." I pocketed both items.  
  
"I expect to have met with Lesley by Halloween. And don't neglect your duties collecting information. You are dismissed." Voldemort took out parchment and a quill and begin to work. I let myself out of the room, then went to the fireplace down the hall. I flooed to an empty classroom in the Charms wing at Hogwarts; someone on the Floo Regulation Panel had it set up for the Death Eaters at the school, a Death Eater no doubt. When you are a follower of Voldemort, you know only your peers, and a few of the higher ranking in the inner circle; that is all, no one but Voldemort knows who we all are, and we Death Eaters know this. I know of the Death Eaters in the school, and a few a bit older than me, though not by much.  
  
I walked out of the classroom, and looked at Lesley Baker's picture again. I knew her a little, she was in my Herbology class. I put the picture back in my pocket as I rounded the corner. Who was there, but Lesley; and she was alone. Perfect.  
  
B Rowan's POV/B  
  
IOk, so life is as normal as its going to be. The guy I'm like in love with has emotional baggage. And lots of it. But its like all with his family, so its not too bad. I've heard of the Blacks (like what wizard hasn't?), and saw them when I was little, but never imagined I'd fall in love with one.  
  
I remember this one time; I had to have been 6 or so, and was with my mother at Diagon Alley, getting me a birthday present- it was a toy broomstick. I can remember this like it was yesterday. And there was the Black family, in the quidditch shop, buying Sirius and Regulus broomsticks. I couldn't help but stare at them, the boys in their fine black robes, and the severe looking woman dressed in green robes with black trimming. And the father. Wow, he had really scared me. Tall, dark and handsome. Much like how Sirius looks now. Though I would never tell him that he looks like his father. But back to the day in the shop- I can remember is so clearly. My mother was very polite to the shop owner after the Blacks had left, even though he served them before us, though we were there first. Now that I think about it, Sirius hadn't smiled once the time when I saw him. His brother was grinning, and the mother wasn't smiling either, but the father was smiling, well sort of. But Sirius looked bored and miserable. Now I know why.  
  
Often I had wondered why the boy hadn't smiled when he was given that new broomstick. He said thank you and was nice about it, but he seemed so sad. When I went to talk to him, while I was waiting, my mother held me back and shook her head no. I never knew why. Not until very recently. Sirius was well, *giggles* serious when he told me we had to talk. I though he wanted to end things, I swear I nearly started crying. Then he was like "Rowe, I think its time I told you about my family." I was so relieved I nearly started crying anyway! But still, Sirius hasn't had an easy life. He always kind of knew he didn't fit with his family, especially when he didn't like how his parents treated other people. They tried to change him too, for a long time. It wasn't until Sirius went to Hogwarts that he stopped pretending. That's when all the trouble really started. Sirius first met James on the train. Sirius was told by his parents who to look for on the train, their friend's kids of course. Like Lucius Malfoy, who was about 4 years older than him, and had played with Sirius when they were younger. And of course, Sirius's cousins were also there. His parents also gave him strict orders to stay away from anyone with red hair and lots of freckles ('cause they were probably a Weasley- a pureblood wizarding family that had no problems with muggles), and from 'that Potter boy'. Well, Sirius wandered off on his own, and came to an almost empty compartment. James was in there, throwing Exploding Snap cards at the wall. Sirius asked to sit, and that was the beginning of a great friendship. Funny how things are. I think it was his friendship with James that kept Sirius from going insane. I don't even want to think out what he would be like today if he had never met James. Its sweet really, like how I met Lily.  
  
Oh gosh, I had to have been like 3 when I moved next door to Lily. It feels like forever. Almost everyday we played together, at each other's houses. Of course Mother charmed the house so muggles couldn't see our magic stuff, though sometimes I got the impression that Lily could see some things every once in awhile. Like my broomstick, or some of my comic books. But she never, not once, questioned anything she found in my house. I honestly didn't know until Lily was 7 and she had a temper tantrum in our yard when her father came to bring Lily home so she could do something. Whatever its was, Lily didn't want to go, and began levitating her dad. Boy, were my mother and I surprised! My jaw hit the floor and my mother pulled out her wand to get Mr. Evans back on the ground. I don't know who was the most surprised: Lily, Mr. Evans or me. Mother was very calm about it, and made me stay outside while she took Mr. Evans and Lily inside. Mother got Lily signed up for Hogwarts, but for some reason, Lily never told her sister. Mr. Evans must have told his wife, as she came over the very next day and stayed for what seemed like hours, while Lily and I played outside. Well, more like talked. She wanted to know all about the wizarding world. Lily was so sympathetic when she got her Hogwarts letter, and I got the Sandyscone one. Sure Sandyscone was good, but it wasn't Hogwarts. I cried for hours, until Lily threw open her window and told me she would send back the letter, and apply to Sandyscone so we would be together. And she was serious. I told not to be silly. So we promised to write every week, which we did. She helped me every break, teaching me some of the stuff she learned at Hogwarts, stuff I would never see for weeks or even years. It was because of Lily that I scored so well on OWLs, and transferred to Hogwarts. I have Lily to thank, for getting me ahead in my education. I owe her so much: introducing me to Sirius and Hogwarts; the two most important things for me. I don't know how I'll ever repay her. /I  
  
I closed my diary. That was enough for now. ~*~  
  
Chapter 6: A Room With a View  
  
Lily Evans yawned as she sat up in bed, the sun's bright rays falling neatly into beams across her bed. Lily grinned and drew her knees up to her chest, hugging them, and sighing contentedly. She felt like she was the luckiest girl in the world, bar none. She was Lily Evans, Head Girl of Hogwarts, girlfriend of James Potter, friend of the marauders, and best of all, she had an excellent costume for Halloween, which just so happened to be that very day. Lily had been dating James for a month now, and had known that she was feeling the closest thing possible to being in true love with him. If this wasn't it, she told herself, then I don't know what this is, or what love is.  
  
Lily yawned again, and stretched. She gracefully got out of bed, and traveled over to her trunk at the foot of her four poster bed. Gently taking out a package wrapped in tissue paper, Lily pulled lightly on the end tie of the bow and the string came undone. Lily folded back the delicate tissue and looked at her costume. James had given it to her as a "Halloween present" a tradition that the Marauders started their first year, because they felt Christmas was simply too far away.  
  
Lily lifted a book off of the dark green material, and turned it over in her hands. It was a book on surreal creatures of the forest, like Green Faeries and Woodland Elves. James had marked a page with a green ribbon, it was that of the Tree Guardian. Lily opened to the passage and read:  
  
"The Tree Guardian is a wood nymph, that protects and cares for the trees in it's keep. Tree Guardians live in pairs of male and female, and only mate with one other nymph for their entire lives, which can span over 100 years. A pale creature with dark red to dark brown hair, the tree nymphs dress in green, and speak their own language, which no wizard is yet to learn, though wood nymphs are apt at learning foreign languages. They are classified creatures by their own asking, like the centaur, and have great healing powers. Tree Guardians typically do not come into human interaction, as they are busy tending to their trees. If you should cause any damage to a tree under Tree Guardians' care, the nymph would cause great physical damage to you, often ending up with killing the offender."  
  
Below the passage was a hand-painted watercolor of a Tree Guardian, in a gown of green and a cloak about it. The picture looked much like Lily, as the creature had auburn hair much like her own, and skin the same shade. Lily put the book down, and took the package in her hands again. She removed the material from the tissue. It was a gown, the style almost identical to the gown in the picture, a draping green gown, of velvet and satin with leaves embroidered on it. Lily held it out in front of her, so she could see the whole dress, She still couldn't believe it was hers. James had given it to her, and now it was hers. Somehow, it couldn't sink it.  
  
"Lily! Are you Istill/I sleeping?" Rowan's voice called from the hall.  
  
"No! No, I'm awake!" Lily hastily, though with great care, refolded her dress and placed it on the tissue, with the book, on her bed. She was shutting the bed hangings as Rowan came in, wearing a costume of sorts. She was supposed to be a clueless witch dressed as a muggle, and she did a good job. Mixing a plaid skirt with a printed top, and of clashing colors, Rowan thought she did well, and she had.  
  
"You're a bit hard on the eyes!" Lily giggled, pretending to shield her eyes.  
  
"Supposed to be. Are you getting dressed? You still haven't told me what you are going to be yet. I can't believe you convinced Dumbledore to let us dress up, and go out!" Rowan chattered as she went and sat upon her own bed. Lily grinned.  
  
"You'll see. James got it for me, and he did really well. And about Dumbledore, you know how much work went into getting most of the people of Hogsmeade to agree to 'trick-or-treaters'. The Hogshead was real nice about it though." Lily added as an after thought, as she sat on the lid of her trunk, which she closed.  
  
"So, your costume. Are you going to put it on?" Rowan asked hopefully.  
  
"Yeah, but its only, what, 8 am?" Lily looked at her watch then gasped. "11 am? YOU LET ME SLEEP UNTIL 11?!" Lily fairly yelled.  
  
"Well, it was more of James's doing, he said you two had a late night last night. Speaking of which-" Rowan got a mischievous grin on her face.  
  
"Whatever you're thinking didn't happen. And it won't happen, you know what my standards are. No ring, no fling. Remember? Now," It was Lily's turn to smile slyly, "you on the other hand, never said any such rule. So for all I know-"  
  
"I DID NOT! Sirius would never- well, he probably would, but still, I wouldn't. You know that." Rowan interrupted.  
  
"Well, you never told me." Lily said, purposely misleading Rowan.  
  
"Yes I did! I had to have! If I didn't-" "Relax, I was just giving you a hard time." Lily giggled. "Now, if you leave, I have to get dressed."  
  
"Fine." Rowan grumbled and made her way out of the room, shutting the door behind her.  
  
~*~  
  
Several hours later and one too many agonizing periods of class, dinner finally arrived. Lily still hadn't changed into her costume, preferring to wait until right before the exciting events that she and James planned for the school that night; which of course, required much whining on Rowan's behalf, for Lily to tell her what the costume. Even James wouldn't tell anyone what Lily's costume was, so the two of them had great fun making up ridiculous suggestions as to what Lily would actually be wearing that night, ranging from being Dumbledore to a strip club dancer to even a muggle magician. Soon enough though, Lily did retreat to her dorm, alone, to change. In less than 45 minutes, she somehow, miraculously for the amount of time it took her, transformed into a carbon copy of the ethereal creature from her book. As she descended the stairs to the common room, all eyes were upon her; she was Ibeautiful/I, and there was no way around it. Lily had charmed her ears to be pointy, and weaved real lilies and ivy vines through her hair, which she had loose and in flowing curls.  
  
"Wow. I did good, huh?" James quickly got to his feet, rushing over to Lily. He was dressed as a silly imitation of a pirate, silly because he didn't know that pirates didn't wear pink (we had Sirius to thank for that). The Marauders all dressed as pirates this year, forming a silly looking bunch. They all charmed their hair to grow about a foot longer in one hour, so they wrapped it in bandanas, and Sirius placed a large hat with an equally large feather in it upon his head, making him look just as silly as James in his transfigured dirty pink pirate shirt. Remus, thankfully, did research on his costume, and looked somewhat like a pirate from the 1700's would look like, and Peter. well, let's just say he took advice from Sirius: he was wearing neon orange polka dots and a matching hat. But, alas, they were happy with their costumes, and no one could argue that they looked stupid: the Marauders had it stuck in their head that they looked cool, and no one could dissuade them from that.  
  
"I think you did Iwell/I, on my costume at least. But I must say, pink is not your color." Lily giggled, pinching James's cheek, which turned bright red with a hot blush.  
  
"Well guys don't wear pink, only pirates." James retorted, throwing a nasty look at Sirius, who was trying, unsuccessfully to contain his laughter.  
  
"If you say so." Lily smirked. "But no time for arguments, we need to get down to the Great Hall to announce the beginning of festivities, like, now!" Lily said as she checked James's pocket watch, which he thought was an excellent addition to his costume. Unfortunately, like the pink, it wasn't.  
  
"Let's go then!" James set off at a quick pace, practically dragging Lily out of the portrait, and down the halls, their friends trailing behind.  
  
Within minutes, the gang had arrived to a thronging crowd of costumed students in the Great Hall, waiting for Lily and James to begin the night, which the kickoff time was supposed to be 7pm.  
  
At exactly 7 pm, Lily climbed up a few stairs, along with James, on the grand sweeping staircase to the upper levels of the school.  
  
"Ahem!" Lily cleared her magically magnified voice. The noise level dropped to a subtle din.  
  
"Let the fun begin!" She cried, and the front doors of Hogwarts burst open, revealing a pumpkin lighted pathway to Hogsmeade. The pumpkins were gigantic, big enough for a wee little first year to climb inside. or be shoved in and shut in there. The pumpkins were carved, in all different designs, including cats, werewolves, the message "Happy Halloween", and James's favorite: "James and Lily Together Forever". James had sunck the last one on at the end, where Lily didn't see it until after the night had began, and the Marauders and female company were strolling towards Hogsmeade.  
  
"You prat! I can't believe you did that!" Lily cried, gently hitting James on the arm as they passed his pumpkin.  
  
"Why? I think its swell, seeing how I carved it myself." James gloated, looking like an over-pompous peacock, as he had stolen Sirius's hat and was now wearing it.  
  
"You? Carved it?" Lily snorted with laughter.  
  
"What?! Think I couldn't do it?" James got defensive, and the rest of the crew began laughing with Lily.  
  
"Let's put it this way James," Rowan began, "you're not the, uh, artistic type."  
  
"You can even draw a stick figure right!" Lily added. James pouted.  
  
"Oh geeze, don't take it to heart, its sweet, ok?" Lily rolled her eyes and slipped her arm in his.  
  
"Yeah. But I can too draw stick figures!" James announced.  
  
"Since when?" Sirius snickered.  
  
"Since forever." James gave the lame reply.  
  
"Why don't we just drop it, and stop the bickering? James, its ok if you can't even draw stick figures, we still love you all the same. Well, maybe not quite as much, but almost." Lily tried to keep a straight face but couldn't do it. James pretended to sniffle.  
  
"Put a sock in it!" Lily rolled her eyes again, but cuddled closer to James all the same.  
  
"Anyway, where's Peter, and where should we go first?" Remus asked. For the night, he had asked Casey to accompany him, and she accepted. They were walking hand in hand down the path, and the two of them seemed comfortable enough in each other's presence.  
  
"Peter is. I don't know where Peter is. Maybe he's out with, what's-her- name, Lesley, yeah, the 6th year. Least he found a girl." Sirius's laugh was bark-like.  
  
"Yeah, I thought I saw him heading off earlier, and saying something about her." James chimed in.  
  
"And as for where to go, the Three Broomsticks- they're handing out the bags to go trick-or-treating with." Lily answered Remus's second question.  
  
"What's trick-or-treating again?" James questioned.  
  
"Its where muggle children go door to door saying "Trick-or-treat" and getting candy from the person, if they're kind enough, and for being in costume." Lily explained for the umpteenth time to James.  
  
"Oh yeah. Gotta love the muggles for thinking up something like this." James grinned, and slipped his arm out of Lily's, and instead, putting it around her waist, drawing Lily closer.  
  
When they reached the Three Broomsticks, it was already teeming with students, but the supply of bags hadn't begun to dwindle dramatically, Lily had placed a replenishing spell on the barrels which held the bags. Honeyduke's, was kind enough to give the school a large price break on the candy the purchased and then distributed to the people of Hogsmeade who agreed to have their house be a "trick-or-treat" stop, and most of the citizens were just as excited as the Hogwarts students; the whole town got into the spirit, decorating according to Lily's direction, and help from books that Lily decreed useable and helpful; many weren't even books, but muggle newspaper articles from America and magazines as well. The stores of Hogsmeade also contributed, either money or items for the raffle that would take place in the Hogsmeade town-square at 10 pm, sharp. The stores were open late, giving large discounts to all persons in costume. ~*~  
  
Even though James planned to spend much of the night with Lily, he did also plan for some gallivanting with his friends, and a scare tactic sure to scare the stuffing out of everyone at Hogwarts, and in Hogsmeade too. So soon after Lily, Rowan and Casey were settled with butterbeers in the Three Broomsticks, the Marauders excused themselves saying that they would be going for a walk while the girls finished their drinks.  
  
"Hey Lily, how long are you going to be with that?" James asked curiously, throwing himself onto the seat next to her.  
  
"Well, James, I just started it, so it will be a while." Lily murmured, swirling her drink and being difficult.  
  
"Well, me and the guys want to go out for a walk, is that ok? We'll catch up at the square at 10 for the raffle?" James grinned hopefully.  
  
"The guys and I, and why are you asking me? I'm not your mother." Lily intoned. James almost looked hurt. "But yes James, you may go and do what your little heart desires, though I don't like the way you're looking right now." Lily had the wind knocked out of her as he enveloped her in a bone- crushing hug.  
  
"Thanks Lily, I'll see you at 10." James brushed his lips across her cheek and got up and left with the Marauders in tow.  
  
"That was strange." Casey looked at the door that the boys just disappeared through.  
  
"I think we might fare best not leaving the Broomsticks until 10. it might be safer." Lily giggled.  
  
"Anyway-" Rowan changed the subject. ~*~  
  
"Three cheers for James who ditched the girls!" Sirius said gleefully as the three Marauders walked briskly towards the shrieking shack. The four of them slipped around the back of the decrepit house, and snuck inside. James carefully transfigured one of the front boarded windows to be see through on inside only, kind of like a one-way mirror, except it was wood.  
  
The Marauders lay in wait, like hunters waiting for their pray. At long last, a shy fourth year coupe from Ravenclaw made their way past the shrieking shack. The Marauders promptly began screaming and howling, scaring their poor victims to pieces. The two children raced off to the town square, where it was promptly told that the ghosts in the shrieking shack were awake tonight and were screaming their spectral heads off. Of course, with everything going on, no one in the town square heard any such thing, and laughed at the two students. It wasn't until after 10 reports of screaming coming from the shrieking shack, that Lily, Rowan and Casey decided to see for themselves. They drew up to the shack, and walked inside the gate, while a small gathering of terrified students hiding down the road some 100 yards.  
  
Inside the shack, James promptly identified who it was, and shushed his friends. He had something else planned for Lily. Lily got all the way up to the front step, with Rowan and Casey trailing behind her. Lily, quelling her own fears, knocked on the door. There was no answer.  
  
"See?" Lily called out, "Nothing!"  
  
No sooner had the words spilled from her lips than blood-curdling screeches came from the Shrieking Shack, scaring Lily and her friends to death. At the 'ghost's' screams, Lily screamed, which caused Rowan and Casey to scream, and the frightened students to run off down the lane, towards town. With Lily and her friends getting off of the property as soon as possible.  
  
Suddenly, James appeared from nowhere.  
  
"Dear lord, James!" Lily threw her arms around him, shaking.  
  
"Lily, what's wrong?" James looked at his scared girlfriend. Maybe they shouldn't have done it, she looked as white as snow, and her friends were in no better shape.  
  
"Went up to shrieking shack- there's really ghosts in there!"  
  
"Started screaming-"  
  
"We had knocked on the door"  
  
"To prove there wasn't any ghosts"  
  
"And there are!"  
  
"Well, don't worry, I'll protect you all." James laughed. Lily felt suspicious and jerked away.  
  
"Where'd you come from, and where's Sirius and Remus?" Lily asked, eyeing James.  
  
"Oh, we were playing," James paused for a moment. "Hide and go seek. Yeah, that's right, hide and go seek. I'm trying to find them." James flashed his million-dollar smile at Lily.  
  
"Is that so?" Lily folder arms across her chest and tapped her foot. James began to look guilty, and he gave up; he was bagged.  
  
"Lily, dearest, we didn't mean to scare you." James drew Lily to him and hugged her, swaying her gently back  
  
"You did that to all those poor students and then us?" Lily tried to squirm away but James held her fast.  
  
"It was just a little prank. Come on Lily, it was funny seeing all those uppity little kids scared out of their mind." James had a childlike grin on his face. Lily, on the other hand, did not.  
  
"James, let go of me now." Lily's voice was a frosty as the cold air around them. James slowly let go of Lily, giving her a doleful look. Lily quickly crossed to the Shrieking Shack, and threw the door open (with a bit of help from her wand), revealing Remus and Sirius joking quietly. When the door opened, they looked up surprised, then very guilty, as their eyes came to rest on the three angry looking girls, fronted by Lily.  
  
"Hey Lily.Rowan." Sirius was sitting cross-legged on the floor, looking up at the girls, and had a very strained pitch to his voice.  
  
"Get out here, now." Lily commanded, and walked back to James, who was standing on the front lawn of the shrieking shack. Remus and Sirius didn't waste a minute following Lily's order. They went to where Lily was standing, which was in front of James. With Casey and Rowan behind her, and the boys in front of her, Lily began her tirade.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?!" Lily burst forth, screaming at them. The boys noticeably cringed and cowered.  
  
"IRRESPONSIBLE, IMMATURE, UNFORGIVABLE!" Much of Lily's rant was disjointed words, she was so angry. Finally, she stopped to breathe.  
  
"I'm sorry Lily." James whimpered in a miserable voice; he looked at his hands, as if he was ready to cry. Lily felt her heart melt. How could she stay mad at him?  
  
"James, look," Lily sighed, and hugged him; James wrapped his arms tightly around her, and grinned into her hair.  
  
"Just don't do something like this again. You are responsible to Ihelp/I these kids, not scare them. And that goes for you two, also." Lily looked pointedly over James's shoulder at Sirius and Remus, who were nodding vigorously.  
  
"Now," Lily pulled away from James's crushing hug, "we need to be at the town square." ~*~ 


End file.
